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Messages - Michael

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Melvins Discussion / Poll: Best Album Since "H.A.T."
« on: January 04, 2015, 01:48:54 PM »
I think "(A) Senile Animal" will take the cake here but I'm curious nonetheless. For me, "Freak Puke" is the band's most consistent, cohesive, and interesting record since "H.A.T.". It's easily the one I return to most frequently.

Melvins Discussion / Re: The War On Wisdom VIDEO
« on: March 15, 2012, 10:40:07 AM »
Hey Lunica, don't get too worked up by the inarticulate ramblings of pot-addled posters.  Useless posts from certain people, along with the snark-fueled vitriol of Pinky, are the two biggest wastes of space on this otherwise wonderful board. The fact that both of them are allowed to stick around under Haze's regime while someone with something truly meaningful to say, like Stallion, is banned is a cause for alarm.

I for one was utterly shocked to learn of the new policy. It does a serious disservice to the board and the Melvins community in general. The biggest problem comes with context. To have someone who has contributed to this board on a daily basis with wit and clarity expunged for one pithy negative comment is a travesty. I get a lot more out of the occasional trite comment from someone whose opinion I have come to acknowledge and respect over the course of the last several years than some Johnny-Come-Lately who waxes like a hysterical halfwit.

I have been a member of this board for nigh eight years and although I post rarely, I visit on an almost daily basis. While we've had our fair share of dust-ups and occasional troll invasions, for the most part this board has been a paragon of virtue compared to most other boards in this series of tubes. Thanks to Brian's benevolent patronage and the expert work of the moderators, we have managed to keep this place mostly civil for quite a long time. To have that cheapened by knee-jerk reactionism is an outright shame.

With that I bid you all a fond adieu. I expect to be taken out back and shot for this, and if I'm mistaken than Haze's banishments are even more ludicrous than I thought.

Oh and for good measure, the video is pretty bad. I could go into a series of salient points about how it plays cute and there is nothing of worth to chew on, but what's the point?

"He who laughs last doesn't get the joke."

Melvins Discussion / Re: The Melvan on Ebay
« on: March 07, 2012, 12:17:03 PM »
so what do you think: is it a melvins- or a nirvana-freak who spends that much money on this? or is it maybe hard rock cafe seattle  :lol:

Seeing as there is no Hard Rock Seattle, it has to be a Nirvana fan.

There has been since 2010, right around the corner from the Showbox:

Melvins Discussion / Re: Massive Earthquake in Japan
« on: March 14, 2011, 10:36:15 AM »
From the Hollywood Reporter:

Rock Band Caught in Japan, New Zealand Earthquakes
5:48 PM 3/12/2011 by Annie Yuan

The Melvins experienced both natural disasters since kicking off their tour Feb. 20.
Los Angeles rock band The Melvins are 2-for-2 when it comes to natural disasters.
Not only were they in Tokyo when the disastrous 8.9 earthquake hit Japan Friday, they also experienced the 6.3 earthquake that shook up Christchurch, New Zealand less than a month ago.
"Another big earthquake in Tokyo! Melvins' members and crew are fine," the Melvins posted on Facebook early Friday morning.
According to frontman Buzz Osborne, the band was also at the airport in Christchurch when the first wave of the New Zealand quake hit.
"As soon as that one was over, we grabbed all of our bags and passports and ran for the door," he told in February. "I'm a serious quake coward. [This one] was plenty big, as were the aftershocks. I stayed outside for the next five hours."
A spokesperson for the band sent the LA Times a statement from Osborne on Saturday saying, "What are the odds of us being in TWO major earthquakes on TWO continents in about TWO weeks? In the billions?"
The Melvins had travelled to Japan to perform with San Francisco band High on Fire for the final leg of their tour, which began in New Zealand. The Japan earthquake struck shortly before their last show in Tokyo.
Although Osborne, an L.A. native, is familiar with living in earthquake-prone territory, he admitted he never gets used to the experience.
"I don't like earthquakes, or fires, or floods, or tornadoes, or hurricanes, or any natural disaster whatsoever," he told Spinner.

Melvins Discussion / Finest Swine
« on: July 01, 2010, 10:33:41 AM »
I'm going "Pigs of the Roman Empire" for the following reasons:

-Longest song

-Only one to garner album title honors

-It totally rules.

This is much closer to the "It's Shoved" intro, because well, it is the "It's Shoved" intro.

Yogurt playing "Come Into My Mind".

Melvins Discussion / Re: Melvins and Down to tour
« on: June 14, 2009, 10:41:53 AM »
My initial reaction to this tour was one of dismay and disappointment.  There's absolutely no way I would attempt to be front row for the Melvins in a room full of Down fans.  I would be annihilated.  After a solid decade of seeing them every chance I could get would I opt out on this Melvins tour all together?  Is that even possible? 

But then I realized that after two or three nights of playing to rooms populated with people who, for the most part, don't get your music, the chances of sets of "Jacksonville"-sized proportions are incredibly high.  I wouldn't miss that for the world. 

Even if I need to watch from the sidelines. 

Melvins Show Reviews / Re: Seattle, May 23rd @ Showbox
« on: May 24, 2009, 04:37:12 PM »
Nope, just "Suicide in Progress".


Melvins frontman rocks stat geek cred
Every day is 'Gameday' for King Buzzo

Buzz Osborne can only laugh when recounting the rare privilege of being spotted by Minnesota Twins broadcasters in the Metrodome stands because of his outrageous signature hair.

Naturally, the commentators had never heard of Osborne or his legendary underground metal band, the Melvins, so they only noticed former Twins slugger Kent Hrbek, who was sitting a few seats away, and the "weird guy."

"I thought it was good," says Osborne, the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter for the Melvins, who have been playing since they formed in Aberdeen, Wash., in the early 1980s. "I'm all about the media. Any chance for me to get on TV, I'll take it. Of course, the guys calling the game didn't have much interest in me. But that's OK."

The more Osborne tours, the more likely it'll be that he'll pop up on baseball broadcasts.

The singer, also known as "King Buzzo" to his legion of fans, says he's become obsessed with baseball in the last few years.

"A friend of mine, Dan Raymond, who knows an astonishing amount about baseball, got me heavily into it," he says. "It helps that I totally understood the game from playing as a kid, but one day about five years ago I just started realizing that I was massively into this and took it from there."

He is constantly on his laptop watching Major League games via's Gameday feature, and he's not ashamed to admit that he's a bit of a stat geek, too.

"Sabermetrics have changed the whole way I look at baseball," he says. "Some people think it's taking away the human element a little too much, but I think they're onto something.

"The things I'm really interested in are things like how much walks count. That's incredibly important, and that's why the book 'Moneyball' is so good. But in my humble opinion, (Oakland A's general manager Billy) Beane isn't doing so great right now. I mean, building a team is great and loading up on young talent is important, but aren't they supposed to win?"

Yes, King Buzzo has his opinions, but when it comes to rooting for a team, he's relatively impartial. He lives in Los Angeles and probably goes to Dodger Stadium more than any other ballpark because of its convenient location, but he doesn't really have his own team to root for.

"One of his quirks that bothers people is that he loves all baseball," says Greg Werckman of Ipecac Recordings, which released the Melvins' latest album, Nude With Boots.

"If you push him, he might cop to being a Dodger fan, but he does not understand those of us that hate certain teams. He likes them all! He gets as excited for the opposing teams as he does for the home team. I am an A's season ticket holder and I brought him to a game a couple years ago against the Twins, and he said, 'Don't you love Torii Hunter?' And I said, 'No! He kills us.' He just does not feel that way. Very interesting."

Equally interesting are some of King Buzzo's unique takes on some controversial issues in the game.

Osborne, for example, loves the fact that his hardball heroes make millions upon millions.

"I'm into the high salaries," he says. "If people are going to games, players should get the money. I think teams should have to spend more money on payroll than a lot of them do. I also think the Tampa Bay Rays should move to Santa Monica. Then I could get to three games a week."

And if the Melvins ever get asked to play the National Anthem at a ballpark, they're ready.

While Osborne says he won't "hold (his) breath" waiting for such an invitation from the Dodgers or even a Minor League team, he says the band has been playing the "Star-Spangled Banner" during their current tour, although their rendition isn't exactly traditional.

"Confusing is the best way to describe it," he says. "It's not a diss. It's respectful. It's just a more neutral version of it, I guess."

Osborne also is hardly neutral when it comes to assessing the merits of live baseball vs. the televised game.

"It's like the difference between sugarless chocolate cake and real chocolate cake," he says. "On TV, you can't see the player shifts, what the coaches are doing, really most of the stuff that's really important. I mean, I'll still watch games on TV, but there's nothing like live baseball.

"It's a chess match. And I'm completely into the idea that managers and coaches wear the same uniforms as the players. That shows you how much of a team sport it is. It's awesome."

Osborne likens the travails of a baseball team over a 162-game season to what he and the Melvins have been doing for a good portion of the last three decades.

"We've been playing a long time," he says. "We figured out we've played close to 2,000 shows, and not all of them are going to be good. And that's the way it works. You get out there and you do what you have to.

"That's what's good about baseball. It's such a long season, and even the best teams are going to lose more than 60 games. It's very human that way."

Osborne picks the nearby Angels to win the World Series this year and says their outfielder, Vladimir Guerrero, is his favorite player to watch.

"I've never seen that guy when he wasn't smiling," Osborne says. "And can you blame him? How could he possibly be happier? He's playing baseball for a living."

But even though King Buzzo loves the game and likes the Angels and wishes he could hit like Vlad, one thing you won't see him in is a baseball cap. Not on that head.

"I'm not real hat-friendly," he says with a laugh. "Believe it or not."

Melvins Discussion / Re: Questions to Dale Crover?
« on: August 11, 2008, 12:30:57 AM »
Now with a second drummer in the band how does that change the construction of drum parts?  Does Buzz show you the song first and you work out the beat and then show it to Coady or do the two of you collaborate in tandem at practice?

Melvins Discussion / Re: classic requests for 08 tour
« on: June 24, 2008, 03:07:23 PM »
Manky, hands down. 

It's where this whole double drums thing started.

Melvins Discussion / Juno
« on: December 20, 2007, 12:56:26 PM »
My friend just informed me that Jason Bateman's character, a former rocker/current yuppie, in the recently released Juno refers to the time that his band opened for the Melvins in the early '90's twice throughout the film.

That little tidbit, in addition to the onscreen reuniting of two of the Bluths, means I have to see this movie now, despite my many reservations about the film's quality.

Melvins Discussion / Re: First/Favorite Melvins T?
« on: September 01, 2007, 01:48:50 PM »
My first was the Kozik Nun bought back in the mid-90's.  My favorite is a limited edition (they claimed at the merch table that only about 30 were made) by Essential Monsters of a silkscreened beetle with MELVINS over it (subliminal message???).  It's black with grey writing.  I bought it at the Great American Music Hall about four or five years ago.  It came with this cool tag of authenticity.  I have only washed it thrice.

Here is a shot of me rocking the threads:

Melvins Discussion / Re: setlist wishes
« on: August 30, 2007, 03:19:00 PM »
-Lovely Butterflies (extended intro just Dale at first, then Coady chimes in about 8 measures in, Jared comes on stage about a minute after followed immediately by the King.  They hoist on their axes and without looking at one another start the song at the exact same beat.  At the end the song dissolves into noise ala the Electroretard version that segues seamlessly into...)
- The Fool, the Meddling Idiot (which is played at the slower tempo of the "H.A.T." tour version.  This ends with the first moment of silence since Dale sat down, just enough time to catch half a breath before)
-Mombius Hibachi
-Let It All Be
-Civilized Worm
-Revolve/We All Love Judy/Brain Center (medley from 02003 tour)
-Wispy (outro drum build-up turns into intro drum build-up of..)
-With Teeth
-Bloated Pope
-Tipping the Lion
-Let God Be Your Gardener
-Night Goat
-See How Pretty, See How Smart

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