Discord Of The Spheres

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Interview from Gearhead Magazine magazine, Issue #8.

DISCORD OF THE SPHERES: The Melvins Interview

Interview by Francis Kozik and Michael LaVella

  • Buzz: What do you guys want to talk about?
  • Frank: I refuse to talk about music.
  • Mike: I, on the other hand, do not refuse to talk about music.
  • Buzz: I want to talk about WWII!
  • Dale: Yeah!
  • Mike: OK, what do you want to say about WWII?
  • Buzz: It�s my favorite war!
  • Frank: Well, WWII is completely responsible for everything in our lives. All our food, all our clothing, all our social patterns.
  • Buzz: What would the world be like without all those German scientists?
  • Mike: What, we�d still be behind a plow?
  • Frank: Before WWII, America was an agricultural country...
  • Buzz: (cuts in) In a total depression. That war saved our ass.
  • Frank: If there was no WWII, you�d be behind a plow, like wearing overalls and a hat.
  • Mike: C�mon, don�t you think we�d have TV by now?
  • Buzz: I dunno. We�d all be speaking German.
  • Mike: No way!
  • Frank: Alright, first official question. Do you ever have dreams where you�re not a human? That you�re some sort of thing or object?
  • (Silence---long silence)
  • Buzz: I only have dreams when I�m traveling. I never dream at home, I have these premature burial dreams on tour. That�s not really a thing, though.
  • Mike: You have dreams that you�re in a coffin or something?
  • Buzz: Strangely, yeah. I also have dreams when I first get back from our tour too, I wake up wondering where I�m at for the first week of so.
  • Frank: Would you rather not tour?
  • Buzz: No. I like touring. I think it�s part of the whole thing.
  • Kevin: I was liquid light in a dream once that poured into stuff.
  • Buzz: I was caught in a dream once...
  • Dale: Then you woke up and your pillow was gone!
  • Mike: What about you, Dale?
  • Buzz: All Dale�s dreams have be answered. (laughs)
  • Frank: Now that you have become Edgar Winter.
  • Mike: Or at least Johnny.
  • Frank: When I was a kid, those guys scared me!
  • Mike: They were on Mike Douglas once, and he had to lead them over to where they were playing, because they�re legally blind.
  • Buzz: That�s common in albinos.
  • Frank: Freaked me out.
  • Buzz: Legally blind, and on methadone.
  • Mike: But wouldn�t you give up eyesight to be able to play like that?
  • Buzz: I wouldn�t! (laughs)
  • Mike: The first time I heard the Melvins, I was at Barry Hennsler�s house.
  • Buzz: First of all, what were you doing hanging out with that guy?
  • Dale: That straightedge geek!
  • Mike: Well, the Necros are pretty much my favorite band of all time. Anyway, I was amazed that your songs were slow but also short. I though that was a brilliant concept.
  • Buzz: At that time, the slow thing was just to be a pain in the ass basically. All the bands then were playing fast. Nobody liked us anyway.
  • Mike: When I think about the time you started, I think about Green River and Malfunction.
  • Dale: Well, we were liked OK in Seattle.
  • Buzz: The best thing we could have done was leave Seattle as far as our career was concerned musically.
  • Mike: When did you get here?
  • Dale: 1997
  • Mike: I got here in �88, which was great. I got to see you guys play in all sorts of weird places, like the Victoria Theater.
  • Buzz: To nobody.
  • Mike: Covered Wagon Saloon.
  • Buzz: To nobody.
  • Mike: It was awesome.
  • Buzz: The good old days.
  • Mike: I was happy you were local.
  • Buzz: You were happy we were failing miserably.
  • Dale: The reason the songs were so short was because we played them to death.
  • Buzz: They�d start off a lot longer and the we�d chop off parts.
  • Mike: Did one song ever become two songs.
  • Buzz: Probably. I hated the whole era. It was awful. Playing in a band at that point was really miserable. Not for everybody, but for us in certainly was.
  • Mike: You mean when you were in Aberdeen?
  • Buzz: One of the worst places on earth.
  • Mike: How far is that from Seattle?
  • Buzz: About 150 miles.
  • Mike: You didn�t play in Aberdeen, though?
  • Dale: No.
  • Buzz: Nothing to speak of.
  • Dale: There was nowhere to play.
  • Buzz: We couldn�t play there now.
  • Mike: Matt Lukin said he saw a kid wearing a Misfits shirt there.
  • Buzz: Sure, 20 years after the band broke up.
  • Mike: And he was shocked because it was Aberdeen.
  • Dale: You can thank Metallica for that.
  • Buzz: Is there anything we can�t thank them for?
  • Mike: We should probably just call them all the time and keep thanking them.
  • Buzz: I�m really highly impressed by their musical output at this point.
  • Mike: (Laughs) Ouch!
  • Buzz: Well what are they gonna do, that a swing at me? I�ll take them on. Especially that redneck singer. Me and you, buddy! I could probably just call and call and call and he�d never return any of my calls. What difference does it make? He reads me talking shit about him in Gearhead Magazine and he gets all pissed about it. Oh well.
  • Mike: Like he could find me or you. I don�t think his people are that resourceful.
  • Buzz: Put yourself in his shoes. I mean, you got that kind of bread, at that point, what could really bother you?
  • Mike: That�s what I don�t understand about Kurt Cobain. I don�t understand why he just didn�t buy an island and get the fuck out.
  • Buzz: That�s assuming he had any brains to begin with. Check out who he married, �nuff said.
  • ALL: (laughter)
  • Buzz: That�s what you call new money. People with new money never do smart stuff with it. They end up blowing it on the business end of a shotgun three years after they become famous. That�s great, it actually makes for good copy. It�s a nice, interesting story, and I�m glad that we had something to do with it. (laughs) Suicide, rock and roll it�s amazing. Looks good on a resume.
  • Frank: Talking about suicide and rock and roll...
  • Buzz: There�s not enough of it as far as I�m concerned.
  • Frank: I�m no expert, but to me the Melvins don�t really have anything to do with rock and roll. To me, the Melvins seem like whimsy in some weird way. Like, you guys have been a band for a really long time, what�s it all about now? What�s your motivation?
  • Buzz: It occupies most of my life, generally speaking. I would probably still be doing it to some degree even if I had to work a regular straight job. Also, I don�t have problems doing things that a lot of people would consider commercial suicide.
  • Mike: Do you mean like Prick?
  • Buzz: Yeah, we took a lot of shit for that record. I laughed my ass off through the whole thing. Still think it�s funny.
  • Mike: Well, that�s obvious. What else do you mean by commercial suicide?
  • Buzz: Well, I�ve never met a band that was accused of selling out that wasn�t ready to do it. Most bands, especially when signed to majors, do whatever it takes to become stars, regardless. You can�t blame the labels for that kind of stuff, especially when they have bands that are willing to do whatever they tell them to do. It�s not the label�s fault, they�re there to do whatever they thing in gonna work, and if the bands aren�t arguing with them about that...you know? I wasn�t really into partying with anybody from Atlantic, or doing blow job radio type stuff of hanging out with people from KROQ. I just couldn�t be bothered. But that�s the kind of stuff you have to do in order to "make it". I just can�t be bothered. I would rather go down to all those places with the sheriff and be involved in some sort of rock and roll sting operation, where I wear a wire and watch all those people go to jail. I would love to do that. My picture on the cove of the LA Times shaking hands with the sheriff as a bunch of people get arrested in the rock world.
  • Frank: Let�s name names. Who�s the biggest fucking scumbag piece of shit at Atlantic Records?
  • Buzz: At Atlantic? That�s a really difficult question, because there�s so many.
  • Mike: Ahmet Ertigan is totally out of it, right?
  • Dale: Oh yeah. You know we did get to meet him toward the end.
  • Buzz: Three years after we were on the label.
  • Dale: We meet him and he says "I can�t wait to hear your band."
  • Mike: Holy shit!
  • Buzz: Actually, I was really impressed with that. He didn�t even try to pretend like he even knew who we were. You�ve got to respect that.
  • Frank: Would you guys ever sign a deal again?
  • Buzz: Absolutely!
  • Mike: So you would go back?
  • Buzz: Sure, why not? I find it quite ironic that we were on a huge label like that.
  • Mike: They did everything you wanted, right? They put it on vinyl, they let you do singles, they let you do other shit.
  • Buzz: The amazing thing about that is that bands just don�t have the guts to just do it.. The label might bitch about it, but we just do it anyway. Like, we did the single of the month thing with Am/Rep, and if I had tried to go through the "proper channels" of Atlantic with that thing, we�d still be waiting for it to come out. Bit instead, we just did it. Pressed them up and brought them in and said "Look what we did, what do you guys think?" and they said "Oh...that�s cool. Can we buy some of those for promotional items?" For the most part it was pretty cool. I mean, they gave us lots of money to record with, and our records sold better than they ever had. And anybody that thinks we didn�t do exactly what we wanted to do, I mean, we signed a contract that said 100% artistic control, and that�s exactly what we had.
  • Dale: People who said we sold out by signing to that label probably never heard the stuff.
  • Frank: I never heard anyone saying "sellout." I just know that there was a certain amount of confusion, like no one knows what�s going on. But it�s probably good to have an air of mystery.
  • Dale: I don�t think anyone knows what�s going on.
  • Buzz: Least of all, us! Basically, it�s a lot like it was in 1989, except that we do a lot better professionally.
  • Mike: You mean you play better?
  • Buzz: No. I mean monetarily. More people are coming to see us.
  • Frank: Have you ever been ten minutes into a set and really had to take a dump? What the fuck do you do?
  • Buzz: I don�t think so. Sometimes you have to take a leak, but you just grin and bear it. But taking a shit right before you go on is really great. The pre-show dump. Especially if you can do it in the band that you�re opening for�s dressing room and just leave it in the toilet.
  • Dale: I remember one time we were playing in Iowa. This was when Joe was with us. We started playing that song "Boris," which has a really long beginning. And anyway, I see him take hiss bass off and run out of the hall. We just kept playing, wondering "where�d he go?" Finally he comes back, and later tells us "man, I had to take the gnarliest dump."
  • Mike: So, you do have a shit story after all. It�s just not about one of you guys. What is the exact order of your bass players, anyway?
  • Dale: Matt, Lori and then Tom Flynn.
  • Mike: Tour only, right?
  • Dale: No, he recorded at least one song with us. "God of Thunder."
  • Buzz: Our finest hour.
  • Dale: And then Joe, and then Lori again, and then this one guy Dave, who was in that band Mol Triffid.
  • Buzz: Dave, who got accused, but not convicted, of statutory rape.
  • Dale: Then we had Billy Henderson play a couple of shows.
  • Buzz: Who was never accused of statutory rape!
  • Dale: After that we had Mark, but we also had Bill Bartel record some stuff with us.
  • Mike: Bill Bartel, the famous gay cop.
  • Dale: Yes, that�s him.
  • Frank: Are you gonna make a pie chart?
  • Mike: I don�t know. Maybe I�ll call in the superfan.
  • Dale: And Buzz and I count, cause we both played bass as well.
  • Mike: So it�s like Spinal Tap with drummers.
  • Dale: Oh ---- and Guy as well. He played a few shows with us.
  • Buzz: When we let Mark go, we played three or four days later with Guy.
  • Frank: Do you suppose when you guys hit your mid-fifties, and you�re still playing those huge shows, a la Fleetwood Mac, are you gonna have the full, like, conga, horns, backup vocalists, etc?
  • Dale: We�d do it now if we could afford to pay all those people.
  • Buzz: I�d do all kinds of stuff now if I could afford to pay for it, yeah! Don�t even play, y�know. Just MC the show.
  • Mike: I bet you could get people to play for nothing.
  • Buzz: We got Kevin to play for nothing (laughs). It looks good on his resume, is why he�s doing it.
  • Frank: Other than being in the Melvins, what makes life worth living?
  • Buzz: A lot of different kinds of things, I�m not sure where to begin. (pause) I�ve been doing a lot of gardening lately.
  • Frank: What do you grow?
  • Buzz: Actually, I let my wife take care of deciding what to grow. I just kinda do the manual labor ---- it�s fun. I�m more of a concrete guy, you know? Building things.
  • Mike: You mean like laying concrete, mixing it and laying it?
  • Buzz: Yep.
  • Mike: Are you Italian?
  • Buzz: As far as you know, I�m not!
  • Mike: Whey you are, it�s beaten into you. I can go with the broom and make the nice pattern after the sidewalk is laid, all that shit.
  • Buzz: I don�t like things that are too symmetrical, I like to be a little more weird than that. I collect a lot of stuff. I want a lot of things but...
  • Mike: What�s the big collection?
  • Buzz: God, I don�t know where to begin. Any kind of animal product.
  • Mike: You mean like stuffed animals or potted meat?
  • Buzz: Taxidermy would be fine. Potted meat, depending on the packaging, would be really cool as well. I couldn�t disagree more with the PETA people. I�m on top of the food chain, and I want to keep it that way. Yes, I am smarter than cows and pigs and whatever else.
  • Frank: So if a crazed fan were to lay a gorilla fur jacket on you, you would wear it?
  • Buzz: I would thank my lucky stars!
  • Dale: That would be great!
  • Buzz: I�d like a gorilla head, stuffed. Or better yet, and entire gorilla!
  • Dale: But a gorilla jacket...cool.
  • Buzz: I think it�s really presumptuous of us to screw with he natural evolution of things. I mean, animals are supposed to die out. They have been, for way longer than we�ve been here. How do we know that by saving some of these animals, we�re not screwing things up. Maybe whales are supposed to be dead.
  • Mike: Didn�t you ever see Star Trek IV? The fucking world almost ends because the whales are gone, and they have to go back in time to get a whale.
  • Dale: Oh, that�s right.
  • Frank: What food brings you closest to orgasm?
  • Buzz: Sushi�s good, that�s my favorite. I get high on that stuff.
  • Dale: There�s this place in the Mission called Blowfish. The best sushi I�ve ever had. That place rules.
  • Mike: Better that Japan?
  • Dale: I�ve never been to Japan.
  • Mike: (shocked) You guys have never played in Japan??
  • Frank: You gotta go. It�s the best.
  • Mike: U can�t believe after all these years you�ve never played there.
  • Dale: No, in fact we just went to Australia for the first time last year. That�s how we hooked up with the Cosmic Psychos.
  • Mike: Did you guys play festivals, stadiums or what?
  • Dale: No, no...just clubs.
  • Mike: Really?
  • Dale: The only really bog shows we do are when we are asked to play with our friends Tool.
  • Mike: Did you say earlier that Gene Simmons played with you guys?
  • Dale: Yeah, he played live with us.
  • Frank: Did you at any point, have the opportunity to measure his tongue?
  • Buzz: No. Couldn�t get that close to it.
  • Mike: How did you end up going on tour with Kiss?
  • Buzz: They asked us.
  • Mike: They liked you guys?
  • Buzz: Yeah, plus they knew us from before. They�re a really nice bunch of guys. Much more so that a lot of other far lesser rock stars that have far bigger egos.
  • Mike: Did you tour with them during the "make up" reunion?
  • Buzz: Yeah, it was fun.
  • Mike: Wow. That must have been a kick.
  • Frank: Like, how good do the costumes look up close?
  • Buzz: They�re really worn. Worn out kind of.
  • Dale: We could tell Gene�s was the original costume, because it was all, like, rusted.
  • Mike: That�s interesting that he kept it --- he didn�t just get a new one.
  • Buzz: He�s probably kept everything he�s ever jade. He�s never done any drugs or drank. He always talks about that. And, he, like other people I have known who have never so much as drank a beer, they�re pretty weird.
  • Mike: But he made up for it by fucking --- like, that�s his outlet.
  • Buzz: I personally think that everyone in the entertainment industry is gay until proven otherwise. Just because he tells these stories...
  • Mike: But supposedly they have thousands and thousands of pictures.
  • Dale: Yeah, I think he likes women.
  • Frank: You�re going from high to high, cause now you�re going on tour with God.
  • Buzz: Ozzy. (laughs)
  • Frank: Is there really another Ozzy, a young false Ozzy, that stands backstage in a sound booth and sings all the high notes?
  • Buzz: We don�t know. We�ll check that out for you.
  • Frank: That�s the rumor I�ve been hearing. They say there�s a young cat that�s on the crew that hunches back behind the equipment with headphones and a mic and he harmonizes with Ozzy and takes over on the high notes.
  • Buzz: Well why not? You actually have to give Ozzy credit for that, �cause at least, he�s got a guy singing, he�s not just punching "play" on a DAT tape, getting out there and dancing around as if he�s playing.
  • Frank: Are you guys going to be main stage? Playing in front of forty five thousand stoned Mexicans?
  • Buzz: We�ll probably be playing earlier, so it�s more like four or five stoned Mexicans.
  • Mike: A lot of people looking at their ticket stubs trying to find their seats...
  • Buzz: We did Lollapalooza and it was a blast.
  • Mike: What year was that?
  • Dale: A couple years ago.
  • Mike: That was actually the last one, right?
  • Dale: No, it�s the year before the last one.
  • Mike: Have you played with Ozzy before?
  • Buzz: No, I�ve never even seen Sabbath or Ozzy.
  • Kevin: I just saw Geezeer�s solo thing. It was awful.
  • Mike: Yeah, that�s gotta be rough. So is Mike Borden playing drums for him?
  • Dale: They have Bill Ward, the original drummer, but he just had a heart attack.
  • Buzz: While they were rehearsing!
  • Mike: I�m sure he did. He looked bad in �79.
  • Buzz: What are you talking about --- he looked bad in �69!
  • Frank: Now a really dumb question. For lack of a better word I�ll use "punk." Did punk lose, or did it in fact win, and by winning...who cares?
  • Buzz: What do you mean by that?
  • Frank: What I�m saying is using music as a vehicle for antisocial self expression. What you guys do is play music that basically comes from alienation. It�s all branched out into all these subgenres, but to me it�s all punk rock. It�s pretty much everywhere. Therefore it won. So what�s next?
  • Kevin: It all comes down to the individual. There�s no movements that succeed or fail. It�s always just individuals that just do cools stuff or don�t.
  • Frank: (To Buzz) You�re a really important person to a lot of people. How do you feel about that? The fact that, like it or not, you band has been this weird sort of linchpin. No Melvins --- no Nirvana ---no explosion of "alternative" music. All this weird shit�s happened to you, though you, by you, with your actual direct personality and individual desires influencing millions of people on a worldwide scale. How do you feel about that?
  • Buzz: I wish my bank account showed it!
  • Dale: We�d be a litter happier, yeah.
  • Frank: You guys came from Aberdeen, it was hell on earth.
  • Buzz: Definitely.
  • Frank: And you created this bizarre thing called the Melvins to get away from that. And it worked. The Melvins have lasted longer that a lot of bands. Most of them.
  • Buzz: All of them.
  • Frank: And you�re living off of it, and you�re giving vent to your personal desires. Are you happier now, less alienated, or are you still just as fucked up?
  • Buzz: I�m far happier now. It�s great, I love it. I�ve been happy for a long time.
  • Dale: I feel successful.
  • Buzz: So we won. I don�t care about any movement. Ugh. No thanks.
  • Frank: I seriously don�t understand the level of obsession with Kurt Cobain.
  • Buzz: I understand far less the heavy obsession with his wife, because at least he...I can see how people would like his stuff. They were sort of modernized version of the Knack, who sold a shitload of records. Had Doug Whatshisface blown his brains out at the last moment, the Knack might have went down differently in history, whereas if Cobain was still hanging on now, four years later, doing God only knows what...
  • Frank: Internet commercials.
  • Buzz: Probably wondering what time he�s gonna get down to the methadone clinic. Who knows, sort of along the same line as what would Jim Morrison have ended up doing, or Hendrix. If Clapton had ended up dead at the end of the Cream thing, he would probably be perceived a lot differently.
  • Mike: Being around in that era, don�t you think it could have been any number of bands? I mean Green River, the Fluid...
  • Buzz: No, because I don�t think those bands had a s good of songs. In a marketable way.
  • Mike: (To Dale) You played on Bleach only, or on other stuff?
  • Dale: There was other stuff.
  • Mike: Before Chad?
  • Dale: Way before. They weren�t even called Nirvana, they hadn�t decided on a name. They just wanted to do a demo tape.
  • Mike: I just was Incesticide the other day and noticed your picture in it. I�d forgotten about that. Do you get paid for that?
  • Dale: Oh yeah.
  • Mike: Good! Like occasionally --- once a year you get something?
  • Dale: Yeah.
  • Buzz: Whenever Chris feels sorry for him!
  • Dale: It�s good, because I never expected anything from it. I just did it as a favor.
  • Mike: That�s good for you. Puts food on the table.
  • Dale: Oh yeah.
  • Buzz: It�s good because Nirvana�s management are some of the scummiest people on earth. I mean, you have to take a bath after you�ve been around them.
  • Frank: So basically what you�re saying is you are a "people person."
  • Buzz: (Laughs) Hey, if someone�s a fuckin� liar I don�t mind saying so.
  • Frank: That�s great --- more people should be totally honest. So what�s with the Melvins and porno connection?
  • Buzz: What do you want to know?
  • Frank: What do you want to tell us?
  • Buzz: Well, we know people in the industry...you know what�s weird? You can�t make a violent pornography movie. Even if the violence is fake.
  • Mike: Says who?
  • Buzz: It�s against the law. Cuz, we�re friends with Gregory Dark, the underground, well sorta-underground porno filmmaker...
  • Dale: He director on of our videos.
  • Mike: The one with the goat?
  • Kevin: That�s a great one!
  • Frank: I like that shitty looking one with the robot, that on is great.
  • Mike: Love that goat!
  • Dale: No, before those. The one where were, like, zombies.
  • Buzz: Yeah, we like Gregory a lot. Anyway, I told him that he should do like a Friday the 13th porno, where Jason is screwing the girls before he chops �em up, and he told me you just can�t do it. Can�t have violence and real sex, not even fake violence. Of course you can have fake violence and fake sex...
  • Mike: Where would Cinemax be without that? What was that porn mag you were in?
  • Buzz: Dirty. Yeah, I told the editors that I wouldn�t do it unless I could bring a shotgun and wear a shirt that says Promote Homosexuality. They said "We don�t know about this fag shit, but OK."
  • Mike: (Laughing) "This fag shit..."
  • Buzz: That�s a direct quote. Well, the guy that did the photo editing was from that band LA Guns, so imagine the mentality...gosh.
  • Dale: There was a pretty big thing in Hustler, too. It was one of those parody things, "Rock and Roll Hell." Us with naked devil chicks.
  • Mike: I missed that.
  • Buzz: Hustler is pretty great --- we hired the guy who writes "Asshole of the Month" to write the bio for our last Atlantic record. He said "can I lie and make you guys look bad?" and we were like "sure! Do whatever you want!" It came out really great, he wrote all these things like we were in rehab.
  • Dale: Helpin� out the cops.
  • Buzz: Setting up this sting operation, anti-porno hotline type of stuff. That we were going to be playing on a flatbed at Graceland, just outrageous stuff like that. But the best quote was about me having my moment of clarity while I was in rehab. I saw myself nude in a mirror and I said "Oh my God! I�m Courtney Love�s cock!"
  • ALL: (Laughter for a long time)
  • Buzz: And Atlantic just put it out, which was fucking great. We would always make our bios on Atlantic total bullshit, so we would know when we were being interviewed that the interviewer didn�t know anything about us besides reading that bio.
  • Mike: That�s a really great idea.
  • Buzz: Well, yeah, then you know what you�re dealing with --- I don�t know --- I�m pretty suspect of anybody that hasn�t at least heard of us by now. Especially if they claim to be "underground" or whatever.
  • Frank: I don�t know, my favorite Melvins thing was when you guys were on Jeopardy.
  • Dale: Oh yeah, that was weird.
  • Frank: So like Oliver North was standing there, and the dwarf Bill Maher guy was on there, and they played a Melvins cut...
  • Dale: It was an "audio daily double."
  • Frank: So they play the cut and asked "what band was that?" and that Bill Maher fucker says "I don�t know but it sure does suck" and the audience clapped.
  • Dale: The category was "It came from Seattle" and the question was "the Melvins pioneered what audio movement?"
  • Mike: What is grunge?
  • Dale: Yeah, that was the answer. So, yeah, Bill Maher goes "Man, did that song suck" and Oliver North was just kinda standing there and smiling away.
  • Kevin: He was probably drunk.
  • Buzz: Did he have a uniform on?
  • Frank: No, he just had a weird stiff suit on, but he was definitely, like, the erect military guy.
  • Mike: Are you guys a Trivial Pursuit question yet?
  • Buzz: Probably.
  • Dale: I wish.
  • Frank: Since this is for Gearhead, what is your dream car?
  • Dale: I love the early �70s Chrysler E-bodies. Challengers and �Cudas. All those crazy colors...
  • Frank: Which is your favorite?
  • Dale: Black actually, but I like Plum Crazy, Sublime...
  • Mike: That�s the shit man, don�t worry, we�ll find you one.
  • Dale: Cool.
  • Frank: What about you, Buzz?
  • Buzz: Muscle cars are OK, but I like Cadillacs.
  • Mike: You�re totally a Cadillac guy. Definitely --- I could see that coming a mile away.
  • Buzz: What I can�t see is when people make a lot of money and they got out and buy a German car --- what�s up with that? I mean, why wouldn�t you want some deluxe huge American car? Gas is cheap here, maybe if I lived in England or something like that, but this is America, so why not? Why buy some foreign piece of shit?
  • Frank: That�s what Mike wants to hear!
  • Mike: I can see the cover now: Buzz Melvin says "No to imports!"
  • Buzz: But you know what I�m saying.
  • Mike: Sure, I�m sure I�ll own a Cadillac someday.
  • Frank: Don�t you have questions for Dale?
  • Mike: Well, the obvious question is: how is the hell did you ever play Red Rover?
  • Dale: Man, like I never heard that before.
  • Mike: But seriously, were you ever in that situation?
  • Dale: Sure.
  • Frank: Dude, you don�t understand, Mike�s been talking about asking you that all week.
  • Mike: Well, it�s just that my girlfriends is constantly saying "red rover, red rover, we call Dale Crover over." You really do have a musical name.
  • Buzz: Maybe he should change his name to Rob Zombie!
  • Dale: Yeah, I got all that shit, Grover, Rover, Crowbar...
  • Mike: Kids used to call me Mike Vanilla.
  • Buzz: That�s on of the nicer things they said!
  • Mike: What did they call you?
  • Buzz: Fuzz, shit like that.
  • Mike: Did you play drums or guitar first?
  • Dale: Guitar actually.
  • Mike: You�re pretty good. When I saw Altamont, I was impressed that it didn�t have a "side band" vibe.
  • Dale: Good, thanks.
  • Frank: Did you see the video of Altamont playing at South by Southwest?
  • Dale: No.
  • Frank: Dude, you looked like you were playing to a thousand people. Your hair hangs just right, the way you approach the mic, it�s all there.
  • Buzz: It�s a visual thing.
  • Frank: It�s beautiful.
  • Mike: When did Altamont actually start, by the way?
  • Dale: About three years ago, I bought an amp, so I figured I�d better do something.
  • Buzz: He won it in a poker game!
  • Mike: What else are you doing?
  • Dale: Well, we�re good friends with Hank Williams III. I played on his record.
  • Mike: You mean Hank Williams Junior�s kid?
  • Dale: Yeah. Hank Williams Junior Junior.
  • Buzz: He looks just like Hank Williams, actually.
  • Mike: He lives where?
  • Dale: Nashville.
  • Mike: Naturally. So he likes Rock and Roll?
  • Dale: Yeah, but right now he�s playing country music, and he somehow convinced these guys that he�s working with to have me come out and play on this record that he�s doing. And I�d never played country before.
  • Mike: Can you cut that gig?
  • Dale: Well, the guys that he was working with are these producer guys who work with studio musicians who kind of play the same standard country shuffle all day long. So I put some rock fills in there or whatever, and the guy would pretty much fall out of his chair, saying "That was amazin�! Get that boy a cowboy hat! That boy is a hillbilly. What the hell you doing living in San Francisco?"
  • Mike: (laughs) So, was he instantly signed cause he�s Hank Williams Junior�s son?
  • Buzz: Country music is far more cutthroat that rock is.
  • Frank: The musicians are highly disposable.
  • Buzz: They�re a dime a dozen.
  • Frank: It�s pretty tightly controlled by just a few people, right?
  • Buzz: Oh yeah. Do you like country music?
  • Mike: Yeah, the old stuff, of course. Up through the early �70s. That�s what I grew up with. Country and Polkas. The war between them dominated my house.
  • Buzz: It�s still roaring. There are still riots in West Virginia over that shit.
  • Mike: What did your parents listen to?
  • Buzz: Creedence Clearwater, and some country stuff.
  • Frank: Were your parents hippies?
  • Buzz: No!
  • Frank: Loggers?
  • Buzz: Yeah.
  • Frank: Unemployed alcoholic loggers?
  • Buzz: They�re not alcoholics, surprisingly enough. You�d thing they would be --- it would explain a lot.
  • Frank: What do your parents think about what you do?
  • Dale: They are totally into it. We used to practice at my house.
  • Buzz: They never used to care at all when I was living up there. But when we signed with Atlantic, my dad wouldn�t believe it.
  • Mike: So you sent them the record when it came out.
  • Buzz: I never send them any records. They go out and buy them.
  • Mike: Well, that counts for a percentage of your sales.
  • Buzz: There you go!
  • Frank: My dad never gave a shit what I did until I did those illustrations for Hustler. Then he was all proud. He carried it around and showed it to people down at the bar.
  • Dale: Can you see my mom going to downtown Olympia trying to find the Hustler that we were in? She always tried to search out stuff tat we�re in, and somehow she found out about that. She like went into the magazine store and said (loud voice) "Do you have Hustler Magazine?"
  • Mike:(laughs) Hopefully she�ll do the same thing with Gearhead!

(from: http://www.sunishun.com/~melvinshack/melvins_gearhead8.html)


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