Pigs of the Roman Empire

[Dr. Gonzo]

Thought I'd start up a thread precisely for our opinions and thoughts on the new album. The other one is quite clutterred, is at 9 pages and covers our stupid predictions on the album. So post away here ONLY if you have heard the new album. (ROTFLMFAO)

[anaconda]

I'm seriously counting the days, hours, minutes, seconds...
then i will shoplift, borrow, buy or otherwise procure said CD

[buckowens]

i'm not impressed by it, which is a very GOOD thing. that means it'll grow on me and then i'll love it. the albums i like right away suck.

[Dr. Gonzo]

yeah me and a bunch of people have it..... after you listen to it edit the post you have made for your review.

[benton netty]

you bastards had better be soulseeking this sucker, because when i get home from work, i'm going to have new melvins on my mind

[Beto Brasil]

i need a copy of this.
anyone?

[Grungeisdead]

Hey, is the III and toadi acceleratio both instrumentals with no vocals?

If so I'm kindof disappointed by that thouH Todai Accleratio is cool.. I've only heard 3 tracks so far... Friend is gonna send the rest tonight.

[LouiLoomis]

Hey, is the III and toadi acceleratio both instrumentals with no vocals?

If so I'm kindof disappointed by that thouH Todai Accleratio is cool.. I've only heard 3 tracks so far... Friend is gonna send the rest tonight.

You're liking it now though?  

[LouiLoomis]

I'll post a review later tomorrow so I can give it a fair chance, on a good stereo.

[FartLips]

Hey, is the III and toadi acceleratio both instrumentals with no vocals?

If so I'm kindof disappointed by that thouH Todai Accleratio is cool.. I've only heard 3 tracks so far... Friend is gonna send the rest tonight.

You're liking it now though?  

i think this song shows some new influences on buzz.    some good riffage on there though.  i'll review in a couple of days when i listen to it at work ALL DAY LONG!!!!!

[Grungeisdead]

After hearing the rest I liked some of it. It fits together well and has some cool effects. Not hard drumming in a lot of it though.

My favorite tracks would be the bloated pope and pink bat. Pink bat is a really werid song and I like intro with the weird voice.

Pigs of the roman empire. It really picks up near the end IMO. I like the fadding in and out kindof feeling it gives kindof like a scary movie feeling to it. but the 20 mins long make it hard to actually listen to it.

Pink bat has some good guitar and drumming in it. It has the weird effects to it which makes it seem like Lustmord really did some work on it. Lustmord has his hands all over this cd (which isn't a bad thing). Buzz vocals to this song are very outstanding.

Saftey third. Is a good song. demon voices, very weird. Good guitar and drumming.

All the instruments in these songs are well done. Lustmord contributed a lot.

It's a good album. It feels like it belongs with DOOM 3.
I donno if I'm gonna buy it right when it comes out or get it after I get bootlicker.

[benton netty]

i just finished my first listen.

right now, i feel quite disappointed, i'm sorry to say. it's kinda the album that i feared it would be -- full of seemingly random bumps, bangs, and clanks, with lots of whooshing sounds. and lots of reverb. the songs are extremely fucked-up, as if they were recorded normally and then chopped up and remixed. there's definitely good bits, but there's not any song, save for "the bloated pope," that feels like something resembling "classic" melvins. it just feels sloppy and unfocused, like they just took a bunch of riffs and noises and threw them in a blender.

track by track:

1)III -- just an intro, essentially. reverby banging sounds, with whooshing, eerie high-pitched violinesque sounds, and chime clanks. it leads directly into...

2)the bloated pope -- the best song on the album, and the most "traditional" melvins song. unfortunately, it's all downhill from here.

3)toadi acceleratio -- a vaguely east indian-sounding rhythmic instrumental with a repeating guitar line in the background. very static, essentially goes nowhere.

4)pigs of the roman empire -- more clanking, whooshing, and banging noises. around the 6 minute mark, a cool riff begins surfacing and receding a few times. dale's drums fade in and play along for a while, and then the riff fades back into more fucking whooshing sounds. i'm beginning to dislike lustmord at this point. around 11:00, a funky drumbeat emerges and kevin plays some evil bass notes. then, it's some distorted drum/bass thing. around 14:00, an AWESOME riff comes around, and the whole band rocks for a while, until it ends at 18:30. then, guess what? more lustmord clicks and whirrs and gothic keyboardy pad sounds. the end. shit.

5)pink bat -- noise blasts that sound like a cat walking across a distorted casio keyboard for the first minute, and then...an actual song. only thing is, it's produced/mixed really weird, so it's a bit underwhelming. there's some bee-in-your-bonnet lead guitar, and buzz begins singing around 2:30. more noisy leads follow after that, and the track ends without anything very interesting happening. the mixing is really fucked up, and kinda gets in the way of what could've been a strong track.

6)zzzz best -- more reverby thumps, only from dale's drums. kevin noodles on the bass. leads into...

7)safety third -- could've been the best track on the album, but the band's completely overwhelmed by lustmord's sound effects. it's like the musical track is turned down farther than it should be to make room for the squeaks and gurgling monk chant sounds. dale's drums sound like he's playing buckets. buzz's vocals are pretty cool, but they're totally obscured. it sounds like there's a whammy pedal on the drums or something. some nice riffs and drumming bust through at 3:00. the whole last two minutes of the track feel like a remixed ministry song, all cut-and-paste riffs and beats dropping in and out of the mix. it doesn't feel like a band playing. it feels like a computer spitting out random bits of melvins. and then, really annoying high-pitched bleeps take over your ears for the last minute, ruining the good groove the band is playing under all the sonic window dressing.

8)idolatrous apostate -- guess what, kids? more whooshing sounds. at this point, i want to deport lustmord to get him away from my favorite band. sound effects bullshit until about 3:00, then some bass notes, hi hat hits, and buzz's vocals pitched way down come in for some random bullshit along with some lustmord crap that sounds like tubas and distant out-of-tune violins.

9)untitled + hidden track -- more. fucking. reverby. thumps. wow. if this is ambient, you should give every construction worker a recording contract. i don't see anything interesting about this kind of shit. it just sounds like the sound effects from a godzilla movie or something. 2:30 to 4:30 is silence, and then there's this sampled orchestral bit that i know from SOMEWHERE, and i can't place it, but i was humming the melody right along with it. someone will figure this one out.

and that's it. the album ends. i would say there's only three real songs, but "pink bat" and "safety third" are ruined by bad production/mixing and the constant intrusion of lustmord, throwing his pointless noises over potentially great songs.

i don't know what to say -- real sorry to be so negative, but i'm not impressed, and i was really, really looking forward to this, too. "hostile ambient takeover" was so fucking awesome, i had hoped that they would follow it up with an equally great album, but this is like a cross between "honky" and the noise stuff from the amrep singles series.

not a good album. i get the feeling they blew their "rock" wad on the upcoming jello biafra collaboration, which would bum me out, because i'd rather hear buzz's voice any day. oh, well. i gotta respect the fact that they're taking chances and keeping things interesting. it's just too bad that it's not more enjoyable to listen to.

maybe you folks will see it differently. i'll be interesting to see your opinions.

[Dr. Gonzo]

Amazing reviews dudes.... but with those aside, time for what everybodies been waiting for.
Dr. Gonzo's review:

Dissapointing.
My first music release by the Melvins when I'm a fan.
Must find out what drug this and Lustmord's albums are supposed to be listened to on. (SERIOUSLY!)
3 songs, which are cool and kick ass melvins... but short of amazing.
the rest is mainly lustmord stuff. His noise seems to dominate this release although the Melvins (buzz) probably had a huge director's say over Lustmords doings. It's still ambient (crap).
Sounds like a Helios Creed release (Spacey) but fucking sucks in comparison. Anything by H.C. blows this away, since H.C. is GOD (Best comment in the review)
Wish I didn't listen to bloated pope a few times cause now it's really singelled out from the other tracks.

In Conclusion, will listen a few more times and then file it away with COD and Delirium Cordilla as albums I will not waste more time on. (ambient noise!)
Unless somebody tells me which drugs go with this shit! Somebody!?!? For godssakes hook a brother up with some info. I know the melvins still take some drugs.... What inspires this ambient stuff!!?!

Rolling Stone Magazine can reach me at:
1-295-869-8067
I'll write your reviews for 50 bucks a piece.

[blacksanta]

HHmmm....
Gonzo, even though sometimes I think you are the prick of the board (which is OK, because you dare to call BS when you see it as opposed to the wise shotgun who contributes nada) I am certainly afraid that your review is right, especially since I loved the Bloated Pope so much. COD does not get played that much, although I like it. Electroretard is good for a few a spins and a few repeat songs. Prick I like, I just have no need to listen to it. Singles 1-12 is good for a few spins all the way through and a few repeat songs. I feel the same way about Crybaby. Lysol to me is the Melvins crowning glory followed by Stag. I have no choice but to wait until the bastard comes out before I buy it and then I can properly review it.

BUT...
At the same time, even if I end up agreeing with your review, I won't be dissapointed (sorry for the dismal spelling, some words just haunt me). Getting into the Melvins right before Stag, and having my first show be the 3 set (experimental/poppy/heavy) show, I learned early on that this is a band that will throw curveballs, and some stuff they do will be stuff that I probably will not completley (sorry again if the spelling is fucked) enjoy, but the fact that they never seem to do the exact same thing twice will make me come back every time. I have learned that I cannot be upset with each release, because you never know what the fuck these guys will do. I guess they are my favorite band, now that I think about it, even though they have released some shit that does not "make my pelvis move." I am pleased that I spent 65 bones that I could not really afford on an autographed book. I would not have done that for any other band.

-pause from sucking dick-

Then again I am reminded of what Buzzo said to my friend Schlong as he was autographing Honky on the '97 Helmet tour.
"Did you buy this?"     Yes        "I'm sorry!"  
Thanks for the review Gonzo  
I hope you get to see them this tour  Portland got fucked  

[klump]

has anyone here heard a record called "dark side of the moon"?

listen to that record and shut the fuck up, this is original music.
they are trying to evolve from what they were before into something new and different and this is waht everyone should do...

expect the unexpected! youre a melvins fan goddammit!

by the way I love this son of a bitch!