the Melvins Army fanclub

[Dumpster D]

My friend sent 5 bucks and received exactly what he deserved..

[Peebot]

As this thread has resurfaced I'll add a bit of historical perspective. 

I ran that club for the first couple of years of its existence when they were on Boner and got signed to Atlantic.  And while everyone definitely got exactly what they deserved, it's true that some people who sent money probably got diddly squat. 

The budget for that thing was literally zero for the first year or so.  Dale and I figured out what the "starter pack" would be and got all those together around the time that the solo albums came out, and continued to nuance the offering with the release of Lysol and later Houdini, but those guys had no money whatsoever to fund the thing back then.  So I would get maybe $100 or so from Dale before they went on tour or whatever (that money spent very fast), and that would have to last until he got back, at which time there still was often no money for more mailings/supplies anyway.  I was a one-man show (working and going to school full time also), and ended up spending a lot of my own money doing the layout, photocopying the zines and making the iron-ons (color copies on iron-on paper), printing the membership cards, buying stamps, envelopes, etc.  I had a buddy who worked at a copy shop at the time and let me do some extra copy work after hours, thank goodness.  Weirdly one of the other employees in that copy shop was the bass player from Camper Van Beethoven, but that's a story for another time.

Please don't get me wrong, I was absolutely thrilled to do all this, I considered it an honor, for reals.  And I didn't pay for a Melvins show or any merch for many, many years thanks to Dale (to say nothing of the absolute, unmitigated joy I got from interacting with and running the fan club for the greatest fucking band on earth), but the point is some shit definitely fell through the cracks.  My humble apologies to anyone who sent their $5 in and got nothing in return.  For every one of you there are 50 people who did, but I know it felt shitty at the time and that's fucked. 

I will say that my own inconsistent efforts were nothing compared to getting those lazy fuckers to lift a finger to answer mail, sign glossy 8x10" photos, pay attention, etc.  Dale was better about it than the other guys; Buzz (and Joe or Mark, depending on who was on board at the time) basically took a very...uh...hands-off approach. 

So we did the three zines mentioned in this thread, and then the esteemed folks at the David Lefkowitz Management Co., the band's management at the time, took over after a while and that's when the Pissing in the Wind stuff started, with the video and all that.  That line that Mesteren quotes, "this is newsletter #3 for the Melvins Army, and sadly..." was written by yours truly, as were most of the words in the first three zines.  As a designer these days I'm honestly embarrassed by the way those things look now, but none of us had any fucking idea what we were doing, so we did the best we could with the crappy word processing software available to us (well, me...the only person involved with a computer) at the time.  But god damn was it fun.  I still have all the original pages (or most of them anyhow), all glue-sticked together and hand-assembled, so maybe I'll scan them in color and post them somewhere for you good folks to look at.  The black and white copies never came out very well anyhow.

So yeah, that's my two cents from the inside of the process.  Oh, and uh, I was member #0001.  Beat that!

[jules]

Oh, and uh, I was member #0001.  Beat that!

That's a challenge for me to carefully Tippex out mine to look like Member #0000.   

[pinkyslim]

fuck yea!

[buddy holiday]

thanks for the insights peepot.. that's for sure a cool story!

[rimb]

Cool story peepot, thanks for sharing.

[JUDY]

Awesome- I loved reading that. How cool to be a part of that history. If you can ever find the time to make some color scans for us to oogle at that'd be super rad, man. It would not go unappreciated.

Ps: can you hook me up with Dale's mom's autograph?
Just kidding, but not really 

[Peebot]

Awesome- I loved reading that. How cool to be a part of that history. If you can ever find the time to make some color scans for us to oogle at that'd be super rad, man. It would not go unappreciated.

Ps: can you hook me up with Dale's mom's autograph?
Just kidding, but not really 

Yeah Judy, I'll get the scans going soon.  They look so much better in color!  I've got some other stuff I should scan for ogling too, old photos, backstage passes from the Atlantic tours, outtakes from the Bullhead photo sessions, etc.  I'll work on it. 

Sgt. Marjorie is definitely one of the sweetest people I've ever met.  I remember sitting watching video of Dale playing once and she leaned over and said, with a glint of pride in her eye and a little smile, "oh he just hits those things so hard!" and then laughed.  I saw her at a gig in Tacoma back in 2006 and said hi.  I'm not sure if she remembered me but she was still very sweet.

[jules]

Sgt. Marjorie is definitely one of the sweetest people I've ever met. 

I'm proud to admit to owning Sgt. Marjorie's copy of the Lysol CD, one that never had tape on it. I think I'll end up being buried with it!

[Dan_Halen]

This place pretty much feels like the modern day Melvins Army fan club type place.
[corny] Private Daniel Halen reporting for duty! [/end corny]


and
           I also dug the story and would love to see any scans Peebot!

[JUDY]

Yeah Judy, I'll get the scans going soon.  They look so much better in color!  I've got some other stuff I should scan for ogling too, old photos, backstage passes from the Atlantic tours, outtakes from the Bullhead photo sessions, etc.  I'll work on it. 

Intrigued!! Thanks very much in advance!!!

Sgt. Marjorie is definitely one of the sweetest people I've ever met.  I remember sitting watching video of Dale playing once and she leaned over and said, with a glint of pride in her eye and a little smile, "oh he just hits those things so hard!" and then laughed.

so sweet

[Peebot]

This place pretty much feels like the modern day Melvins Army fan club type place.
[corny] Private Daniel Halen reporting for duty! [/end corny]

Corny or not, I have to agree, Mr. Halen.  This community is awesome.

[Dan_Halen]

Muppets totally rule too! 

[jonE5]

Muppets totally rule too! 

Mah Nah Mah Nah....


                               Do Doo Do Do Doo


Mah Nah Mah Nah

[JUDY]

Hey Peebot, you have a lot of great videos of early shows up on YouTube. Gems!!!
Were you the videographer?