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I think Dale, Jared and Buzz are going to play improvised hammond organ for an hour while Coady plays the tambourine and spoons. Timbaland will produce.

Well, as the old saying goes, "you haven't lived it unless you've wrote about living it on the internet," so here's my experience of the show at the Button Factory.

I got in pretty early, headed straight to the merchandise. They had the Big Biz Tour EP III, some old CDs, and a t-shirt each for the Melvins, Big Biz and Porn, XL only for Melvins and Big Biz, XL and L only for Porn. They didn't have any of the new Porn/Merzbow record, which was about the only other CD from BBTEPIII I would have needed. Bought a "See You In Hell" Melvins shirt, which is a bit big on me, but the awesome design compensates. Got the Tour EP and a poster too. The Big Biz shirt was one I haven't read about/seen on this forum, it was some blue skeletons/corpses close-up with yellow writing maybe, with a moon in the background? It was pretty well-drawn. Anyway, enough about the merch eh.

Leisurely ambled on over to a really sweet vantage point for the show. Good view the whole night, and I must say, the Button Factory is a really fucking plush venue. Unobstructed views from everywhere, leather seats, a great bar. PORN  first, with Dale hitting the stage at the same time as Moss, different from some other shows I've read about. I'm a fan of powerful, crushing, feedbacky music, because I'm a fan of the Melvins, and PORN were thoroughly powerful, crushing and feedbacky. Moss seems like the kind of guy who comes from a long line of wizards and alchemists and conjurers of demons. Whatever his lineage, he straddles minimalism and excess like a fucking pro. A million layers of texture, three-chord riffs, Dale soloing like a fiend, some guy beating the fuck out of his bass, beautiful.

No bubble machine this tour though? For shame.

Big Business next after a little break. Jared came out, said Hi, and I believe wasn't too stimulated by the "The Button Factory" motiff they had on the screen onstage. He asked the guy doing lights, "Could we get a picture of.. like a pizza, or something, that'd be great?" Halfway through the first song (Hands Up), Big Business are playing to the backdrop of a big fucking pizza. This kind of set a precedent, and before every song Jared would give the lights guy a request for an image. For Cats, Mice, he wanted "Cats, and mice... It's called Cats, Mice though, with a comma, so a cat and mouse with a comma as well, that would be ideal." For the next song, "I'm getting a link with God here... I want Offspring... I scream... Ice cream... Can we get the band The Offspring holding some ice cream?" The lights guy delivered with some shoddy photoshopping. Someone in the audience asked for Al Jourgensen, and Dale added that he should have a crack pipe. Cue a photo of Al Jourgensen with a crack pipe photoshopped on. Dale also requested that they get some name I can't remember onscreen naked, so he could guarantee himself that he'd have a wet dream later.. Jared remarked, "Dale's been away from home for a long time." As for the music.. Big Business dominated. The audience dug it, and the sound was as good as or better than I've heard at any other concert.. Seriously fucking piquant, clear, well-balanced and loud. I heard about three different guys saying, "Cats, Mice!" to their friends in a "how fucking awesome was that song, Cats, Mice?" kind of way. If the tour EP and their ever more bad-ass live shows are any indication, the new Big Biz album is going to be fucking monsterous. The Drift makes me want to weep like a baby.

A short interlude, enter the Melvins. Buzz used his new aluminium guitar the whole show I believe, great sound out of that thing. Great balance of sound for the whole show. The setlist was as usual, the band were super tight, the songs were so chunky, so clear. They may as well have sprayed their potent, territorial urine all over the crowd, such was their dominance as a four-piece. The lights guy seemed to think the Melvins and catalogue underwear models from the 70s would make for an interesting viewing/listening experience, so that's what we got for the rest of the night. The big crowd-pleasers were Honey Bucket, Civilised Worm, and History of Bad Men.  History just has the groove to it that people can't fight. I was surprised to see how excited people got for the Nude/Senile material - way more excited than for Eye Flys, Tipping the Lion or Boris. People were going way ape shit in the pit for the quiet part of Suicide in Progress, whereas Eye Flys only got cheers from one or two stonery sorts when they recognised the bassline. Whatever, every song was a gem in my book. Jared got into the crowd for Boris, the band took the song into kind of a Muppetsy direction with Jared screaming nonsense from the floor. They wrapped shit up with Okie from Muskogee, very funny.

I think that old cliche' applies here, and that I've gained a new appreciation for the new Nude material aftering hearing it made in front of me. Big tunes made bigger and better by a live show. Good times. "Family entertainment on another level." Disney Doom. Beautiful.