Detroit 2018

[ilduclo]

Canada closed for renovation 

last time I was in Brit Columb the customs guy was whining about the empty beer cans in my trunk..."I wouldn't bring my garbage into another mans country". I replied, "those things are worth a dime each."

[JUDY]

Riff raff outsuds the venue was super unfortunate.  The shooting was in the neighborhood behind the venue - probably a drug dispute. I hope no one died

The venue KICKS ASS. Sound was soooo good and they even had a level up area in the back so I could actually see the show without getting squished. MELVINS !!!!

Fun times seeing everyone! Hope you all are safe

[aeustin]

reddit post about the shooting. the guy is okay!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Detroit/comments/94glxm/shooting_at_el_club/

[glen]

No bananas were injured during last night's activities.  But wait... anybody ever see Dumpster D again?  I didn't. 

MELVINS reminded me as they always do why I hold them in the highest of regards.  Heck, I may have even teared up a bit when I heard Anaconda.   

Last night was awesome. One of the most fun nights seeing MELVINS ever.   I can't say enough nice things about grim, rose,D, JUDY and my new best pal Brian. Brian, we should be homies.  I love you people, who cares if I barely know you?

And if you're wondering.. yes, D is a total maniac.

   

[aeustin]

No bananas were injured during last night's activities.  But wait... anybody ever see Dumpster D again?  I didn't. 

MELVINS reminded me as they always do why I hold them in the highest of regards.  Heck, I may have even teared up a bit when I heard Anaconda.   

Last night was awesome. One of the most fun nights seeing MELVINS ever.   I can't say enough nice things about grim, rose,D, JUDY and my new best pal Brian. Brian, we should be homies.  I love you people, who cares if I barely know you?

And if you're wondering.. yes, D is a total maniac.

   

you probably saw me too. I was the tall guy with slicked hair and an unsane total destruction shirt. I almost walked around and asked who was on the forums but I would've looked like a chump?

[Dumpster D]

somebody got shot at the corner of the street by the venue. I hope hes okay, I had to walk right past him to get to the parking lot as he was being helped by some bystanders.

lotta blood but he was sitting upright and was talking. Detroit Receiving Hospital is really close.

Thought I heard someone say that happened. That explains why that cop was such a fucking asshole to me when I tried asking to find a way back across the border.

John Spencer was kickin' ass and takin' names, mad shaking set. Fuckin' A.

I have a few funny Moments to share about El Buzzo, please remind me. Wow he was really thrashing balls.. 

I taped the show and played it back, the vocals were great and Buzzo Nailed his leads hard.

He was locked out of the venue for a moment, and I believe that was partly my fault which I will do my best to explain later in greater detail.. it was slightly amusing nevertheless. 


Shout out to ambassador Grim.

thanks for the hospitality, all yalls, real proud to have met with you in person. I learned a great deal from putting my feet on American ground.

expect a thorough report when I recoup....I may make a slow recovery... but my bank account will never be the same.

[EGO the Living Planet]

Had a great time. Glad to see Glen and Walsby and John Hopkins. Nice to meat a couple more of you. Can't wait for next time!

[BERZERKER]

Who is D?

[Dumpster D]

I'M *D* you fucknut! XO! 

[glen]

after meeting Dumpster in the flesh I'd like nothing more than to hear (read) him expound on his evening and experience.

grim took a couple pics.     really hoping he got my good side.

[asesino]

Had I known I could get shot, I definitely would've went.

*kicks cat*

[(PAUL)]

grim took a couple pics.     really hoping he got my good side.

There's no bad side on a banana.

[Dumpster D]

Huffin' Nitro in Mexico Town (Slight revisions)

My equilibrium is not making a swift recovery from the trip, Dehydration, exposure, hearing loss and a train ride with a bad hangover plus spending every last dime I don't have...It's hardened me that much more despite being rocked to the foundation of my very cornerstone.

Was it worth it? Call me a winner and a loser. I survived.

The blisters on my feet keep reminding me I should never have taken this trip and put that money towards buying a car instead. Selling out to inevitability. There's my food for the next two months blown, Which is a sacrifice I'm willing to make as food can be had sparingly.

File this report as less a running commentary of a play by play of the actual show, and more of a social study in humanity and my observation on The Detroit culture itself, I threw my life against the world and expected to be torn and battered by the experience, but at least I finally got to do something.

Catching a glimpse of the Motor City, studying the forensics. Decaying neighborhoods of a once monumental establishment going in and out of it's very death throes, along with the distinct ethnicity struck a truly fearful and diminishing chord in my soul for the future of western civilization.

The downtown core smelled slightly of radicalized hysteria in the air, no wait...maybe just raw sewage and the sour aroma of rotten kitchen waste.

there's a reason American alcohol is cheap. To sleep off a hangover on the train without missing my stop was not possible so I bought a 7 dollar can of beer and did my best to apologize for my presence to the unfortunate passengers . It's been a load off the mind, but especially my wallet.

The mission was a success despite being sent forth against the fickle forces of destiny.

The service on the Via rail is dehumanizing. I was treated as livestock more than a human being. The world seems small and futile through the window of a moving train, riding into the witching hour sunset beyond an industrial urban horizon. Stopping to wait for slow moving, shunting freight trains. Reminded me of my high school, and my teenage wild years wandering through the empty streets at night looking for something that isn't there in the first place. 

I realize now how much one could not possibly comprehend let alone imagine the fear of the passengers on their way to a nazi Death camp.

The hotel was grubby and under "renovation" which must be code for "we are too cheap to clean this place up to standard so we'll pretend like it's being fixed up, hence why the carpet looks like a petting zoo had stampeded through the halls"

the rooms are sprayed down with poison air fresheners. Signs and Evidence of illegal drugs are everywhere.

I hadn't eaten real food for the last 48 hours...it's all highway garbage, my stomach is letting me know it's not very pleased, with no time to enjoy an American Restaurant which proved the biggest upset ultimately.   

Getting over the border had been easy compared to getting back out. No Cab Will take you across because of the hassle of dealing with the customs agents, I wound up taking the tunnel bus over, for five bucks. Nobody told me how tough it would be to get back out after midnight. NOT wasting a moment after the show lingering proved critical. The Hotels in downtown Detroit where the last bus from El Club dropped me off was clearly setting me up, running extortion rackets shipping tourists to and fro.

Grim helped by calling a cab that never showed...Also, the Cab the server at the local Mexican restaurant tried to call for me was a no go. By then it was 1AM and too late to catch the tunnel bus home.
.
They really grilled me for all it was worth coming through to Detroit but didn't even bother searching me or checking my pockets in the end despite being at the wrong end of the third degree power trip...weird...considering I could have easily had a few bricks of Hash under my shirt. The cop was a mean bastard, and rude as hell

"Let me see your passport"

I slowly lift my arms and reach around my waist where I unzipped my belt clip and took out my passport to fork it over.

"How long you been standin' there? he snapped

....I paused to give an honest estimate

"I don't know, I guess about 3-5 minutes"

He already had his response cocked and locked and was looking for any excuse to nail me with anything.

Only thing I'd be guilty of smuggling was some Mexican Butt hash.

If you can smell yourself, other people have been able to smell you for a long time, raising my arms unleashed a mighty odor. How you like me now Law man, Germ warfare!!!  (Inside I was doing my best Twisted Jello Laugh  Weeeeeeeee!!!)



You want to know the REAL Trick? Ok

I smelled of B.O. so bad there was no fuckin' way they were gonna come NEAR me if they could help it. Even a well trained Dog nose better than sniff anything out even if I DID have something on me.

Didn't you watch Orange is the New Black?


Mr. Hilter, my dog has no nose.

Label me a stoner because I look different to you, or you don't like my face?... at least we're all now suffering on some level. Here's insult to Injury, or Maybe it's not worth it and Let it go...

These aren't the Drugs you're looking for, move along bitch

...trust me, He definitely caught wind and since I was last in line he was going to give me the hardest time, until he got a nose full in the face. You might be a big man on the outside but my stench would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon and bring you down to tears, a hint of Cheese and onions...he definitely cut the bad cop act and Just passed the buck on the Canuck.

I should have farted on my way out the door too. 





The United states, there's no other way to describe its system... hardly anything united about it whatsoever in a backwards way... There was a paranoid Hollywood fueled sense that everyone seems to rip everyone else off so they all have to mind themselves and their backs up.  The cop was clearly up on steroids and being a testy motherfucker (no pun intended) I knew anything I said contrary to his inquisition was only going to get me detained or deported. The place was a roving sea of black and blue, wall to wall with cops, it was unbelievable. Homeland security? What a fucking scandal.

No wonder every race, creed or color keeps to it's own there. I met a nice guy around my age off the bus in Detroit, Name of Anton, who talked with me and told me that someone burned his apartment down last Tuesday and that red cross helped get him into a shelter...he said he saw someone wearing a mask with a Jerrycan set the fire in the lobby, it seems like a case of arson. The dark side of Capitalism in action. He Took a curious shine to me as a Canadian citizen (He could tell straight away I was out of my element) and told me how his Half-brother was serving time for unregistered firearm possession circumstances of where he was living with the wrong people, they didn't find his prints on the gun. He'd met his Girlfriend in Indiana, and he, himself had been charged with possession of two pounds of Marijuana and his record was holding him back from better prospects. We shared a few drinks in the park that afternoon. He liked to smoke is all. Who doesn't?

Said he was a Dishwasher (just like me) for a living for the last 4 years so in that sense it was interesting to see the other side of the wall...minimum wage there is about 8 bucks an hour (Here it is now moved up to 14 dollars an hour)
Everyone there takes Jobs with incentives for benefits covering health care which they pay into out of their own pocket of course. You could make a fortune or you could lose your shirt there, it's a very binary establishment. It's all playing off exploitation.

The people there at the bus station in Detroit were all African American, downtrodden, the whole scene there was moving like zombified sludge, everyone shuffled with a sullen gate in their step. Right as soon as stepping off the bus it was like one small step. Couldn't help but feel like a fucking Pilgrim.

Anton took me to a Liquor store with a scuffed up plexi glass windows and a slot to stick the money in like a prison...Hell...Not Just the Liquor stores, what a scam, lottery tickets hung and glimmered like fishing lures. The General neighborhood ambiance was derelict, run down and dusty. You need to be riding around and not fucking walking, that much is certain and clear as day to me especially as a pedestrian. The FIRST thing I noticed stepping off the bus with him were Co2 Cartridges littered the sidewalks mile after mile, I had to ask why, and he explained that people were inhaling those like nitrous oxide. It was then clear as to why there were literally dozens of these cartridges had been strewn everywhere, I  picked one up and put it in my pocket as a souvenir. We sat there for a time and conversed mildly about history and politics. He shook my hand, got up and left me. I drank my last couple of beers and went back to the venue, where the charcoal grey Mercedes van was pulled in.

Brian Walsby was in the back sorting T-shirts in white milk crates with the back hatch open, I said hey Brian! W0W you guys are here Early!

He was busy doing his Job so I didn't want to bother him with my presence more than I have in the past and simply Just didn't know where to go and wait for Glen or Grim or who else may be Sharking around the place so I went and took a laid back walk around the block. (It's very near the end of this tour, and everything was winding down. I'm sure they're all worn and exhausted by now simply burning the last round of their energy reserve. They'll deserve a well earned recharge before they head off to Europe in the Fall, well then again, going to Europe will be like a paid vacation for them after this tour is notched into their score board.)

"Meditate, masturbate, run around the block"  (Say it three times fast)

Returning a short while later,  Lo and Behold...El Buzzo steps out the front door carrying two bar seats to place as parking cones for the load out, his shoes were Jet black like lightweight parade boots. (I wondered how comfortable they may or may not be but he wasn't the only one in the crew wearing them so probably pretty decent. Buzz tends to stand sometimes with his feet together and I'm wondering if that serves some Orthopedic purpose for better support because when he's not sitting down in a car all day long he's standing around cramping Jet lagged all night long.  it puts your knees together and helps balance and rest your weight. I try it from time to time and it's also a polite stance when you're waiting in line for example. It does seem to help keep your lower back straightened.) I was standing next to the front door, again I proclaimed:

"You guys are here early"  (But what I actually meant by that was really hidden in the inflection of my tone. The reverse in a sarcastic humorous way, meaning *I'M* here early too, go figure.)

His response was to look over next to the van and point down towards one of those Empty Co2 Cartridges, and said something to the extent of curiosity, like, Check it out, what's that doing here? He noticed one of them as quickly as I had done.

Without wanting to engage with him conversely, as he had to keep his mind on his Job I laughingly said

"There's a whole case of em' across the street, They've been Huffing whippets apparently"  as I walked by, kept walking...I sang a line from Team America.

(KEE-YaaaW!!!) 


I went down a few blocks in search of an ATM to take some cash out by then it was late afternoon. There was a rough but younger tattooed looking druggie in front of little Caesars wearing a white tank top to show her tattoos which were well UV damaged into her tan (I'm guessing it was first thing in the morning for her)  She was the first, and only person to pay a positive overt compliment to my Hand made Jeans. Asked me if I had some money for a slice. I handed her a five and said I got you (a next hit).... but yo, what's up with the Co2 Cartriges, people been huffin' those or what?

She said "Naw They ain't Just be Huffin' it, they be HUH-WOOOOOOOFIN' That shit"

I cracked up hard, she was such a character. Then later I couldn't help but wonder if she was possibly a prostitute or rollin' hard with some heavy crew.

Something just told me she had a heart of gold in the face of hardship.

Content with satisfactory confirmation... word on the street is my Tie-dyed acid wash jeans are mad juice!!!

Next order of business was some cash from an ATM, was too paranoid and shy to approach anyone else, took a leak and washed my hands at Mickey Deez and then spotted a salvation Army. The Clothes were not vintage enough for my acquired taste, but there was a nice 8-track player I would have taken home.

When I hoofed back to the venue this time the door was open and so I stepped in and came over to the bar. The doorman approached me and I presumed he meant to usher me back out as the venue was not open yet for business. I left in good faith and he shut the door meeting him half way. I finally slunk down and folded my legs in front of the gate in the shade of a unique tree with these beautiful orange blossoms. Next thing you know out pops Buzz again, to his astonishment the door locked behind him and he grudgingly tried to open it. He took his phone and texted someone to open it. it took a moment but the gentleman roadie with the mild English accent came to his aid.

Well, that was on me I guess...My bad, the doorman closed the door behind me after I had walked in to check it out...Brian Walsby thereafter was also met with equal misfortune, as well as Jon Spencer's Boys. Everyone stayed out back after that. Goddamn door, goddammit goddammit!!! Fucking Fans, fucking venues, fucking fuck, fuck!!! que

I know right? but it was a totally honest mistake, I swear I'm innocent your majesty!!! 

The fool, the meddling idiot.

Awhile passed by quietly. It was hot, the air was thick with humidity and yet somehow dry, drawn with every lazy breath. My mind had gone blank. 

A Long Time passed......

Then, as if a lone Ranger rode into town, Jon Spencer appears out of nowhere, I knew it was him with his Blue collared shirt tucked in under his plated belt buckle and blue Jeans. Cool as a cucumber he waited for his backup to show...under a pair of dark shades he hardly paid any mind to me as I sat cross legged watching as they each routinely commenced to load out their equipment.

Not much later a tall mysteriously cool, svelte gentleman strolls towards with an extended hand and almost pulled me towards as I rose up to meet his bright alluring eyes. He knew my name, at first I swore he was an undercover agent. 

We soon thereafter met Grim, He's agreeably kind with a cool demeanor. Truly generous with genuine hospitality.

I felt welcomed into the venue openly, and was well received by brian and Judy, who's aura was a blessing to the entirety of my experience.


So What do you want, or need to know about the show itself?

A Melvins set has been time tested in the field. Proven to be a fearsome lethal weapon of war.

It was Bellowing, it was Brutal. Punishing, it was Agonizingly heavy, it moved me like a Bataan death march.

I was next to the sound booth beside who I believe was and Aaron and Clifford engineering the boards, and man..they're excellent at what they do. My view was poor but the show was booming, Just Crushed what was left out of me.

The Four man squad stood off against the crowd lit them up, in a blaze and battled until they were left fighting tooth and nail. NO surrender. The Melvins Win, the crowd scattered and broke in the end and retreated.



After the show I walked past the van in a bit of an alcoholic haze trying to gather myself up and find my bearings. Just out of sheer dumb force of curious bad habit, I peered through the glass as I went by and to my surprise there was El Buzzo waiting with anticipation in the passenger seat of the van patting his hand on his lap *lets go, lets go lets go*

This body language also signaled he was probably pleased with the performance and how the show had gone over and was most likely in good spirits, but anxious waiting around for shit, seated in front of a crime scene.


When the show was over there were blinking blue lights...The police outside carting someone off, who appeared conscious, but he was emaciated and probably strung out on so much pain killer already,  they probably would OD him if they gave him any further anesthetic in the Ambulance. Glen said last time the fire dept. showed up and cut the end of the set short by 3 songs. THIS set was unstoppable. Their sound was total war, possibly even the very thing which inspired the Gun violence outside.

The corner was taped in yellow police line. A pre-text to be outside the venue to keep things from further escalation and the officers were not very friendly. I approached the pair, politely inquired if there's a cab or bus service still running after midnight which I didn't dare dispute. Don't we pay their wage to keep our interest at heart and guard us while we sleep? The bad cop Didn't seem to give a shit where I slept, whether or not I slept at all..he told me this was a crime scene and he's through with me, walk away right now. He didn't want to hear another word. So someone got shot, what's the big fuckin' deal dirty Harry? I'm feeling lucky.

Anyway don't Judge me, I was a bit panic stricken at the prospect of walking through Downtown Detroit all night alone. By then everyone at the show had left and the place was completely empty.  thought maybe the cop could be of some help because they know the locale and aren't the bad guys apparently. He didn't have to be a dick about it, I was trying to be very polite and cooperative. Without hesitation I said "Yes sir" and commenced to walk away.

I hopped a bus (the LAST bus of the night)  with no one else on it and the lady was nice enough to get me to a classy hotel. The doorman was good enough to phone a "black car" which was like a private un-registered cab who drove me over the border but it was a small fortune, 70 USD Just to get to the other side back into Windsor, and from there I cabbed back to the Hotel. I must have left my sun glasses in the cab because I couldn't find them this morning, real shame...they were a pair of very nice glasses. I used a credit card to pay the difference and signed so I better keep an eye on my VISA statement because god knows if the driver might fraud a few charges for himself. You tell me if you think that sounds like a setup or not.

It was an expensive experience, so let that lesson be of equal value.

It all made a lot more sense to see it firsthand how it is there.

The sense in my unconscious mind feels a twisted satisfaction, or maybe that was the Security guard seated by the check in at the hotel lobby, we spoke for awhile, it was a relief to be back, I was a bit uneasy with my speech after at least 12 beers and various other things trying to converse with the Security buddy.

Then the oddest thing struck me, as I mentioned about the C02 littering the streets of Detroit... I live nearby a Native reserve, the Guard mentioned something then about How when he was a kid back in the day he recalled the Natives in the states resorted to Huffing LYSOL. It was a revelation to me, all I could picture was the Appeal to the great spirit, and it finally all made sense to me now.



PS. In case you're wondering who's in charge...his name is Dale.

[glen]

Not much later a tall mysteriously cool, svelte gentleman strolls towards with an extended hand and almost pulled me towards as I rose up to meet his bright alluring eyes. He knew my name, at first I swore he was an undercover agent. 

what can I say?  it was just one of those things.   for whatever reason I felt like I was re-seeing long lost friends.  there was no apprehension or weird nervousness whatsoever.  it was a joyous moment to meet these people.     

[))))((((]

I'd love to be in attendance during one of these boardie meet ups. I wouldn't introduce myself, like the introvert that i am, i'd just listen in and watch from a distance observing! It would be pretty fascinating all round. Hell, i might even take notes!!