obscure melvins factoids that happen to be false

[I am the Sun]

Courtney Love is actually Dale and Buzz's lovechild but they're too ashamed to admit it. This troubling fact caused Courtney to turn to hard drugs and promiscuity in a failed attempt to fill the void that was left by her unloving and neglectful parents.

[jaymz]

The Melvin's don't actually exist its all just a government conspiracy to keep Glen happy.

[Uncle Danny]

Good original post, Mike.  I like, and I'm now thinking of changing my middle name to "Fucking."

[I am the Sun]

uncle fucking uncle danny?

[Mad Arab]

Dale is allergic to peanuts.

[norecess]

Charmicarmicat Bastards is in fact the sound recording of the Melvins killing Kurt Cobain. When Kurt found out, he shot himself.

[glen]

I can't believe I'm doing this but here goes:

the fictional band The Mosquitos from an episode of the popular and long running television program Gilligan's Island was originally scripted and cast as an early version of the Melvins featuring a young Buzz Osborne on guitar, a bespectacled Dale Crover on drums and a gentleman by the name of Krist Novaselic on bass. Unfortunately on the first day of shooting creative differences between Buzz and Krist called for the immediate dismissal of Krist and he was sent back to the mainland, bass in tow, on the first dingy off the island.  producers fevorishly attempted to replace Krist with a disguised Thurston Howell III but he was unable to learn the opening riff of a new song Buzz was writing which later became Night Goat.  finally a command decision was made by the televison network to keep with film scheduling and a group of unemployed actors was rushed in to play as the Mosquitos. adjustements were made to scripting on the fly and the episode went on to become a Gilligan's Island classic. Buzz and Dale were paid for their time and returned to the mainland. On the ferry over they met a young woman named Lori Black, a classicly trained bassist who was returning from a tropical vacation with her mother, a succesful and well-known actress.
the rest is history.

[rictus]

The dude on the far left looks like a droog from A Clockwork Orange. 

[FartLips]

i didn't know lori black was indeed black!

[linesbetweentheread]

MELVINS INTERVIEW.....
Lastly, what bands of the last five years are you personally into?
Buzz:  Black Heart Procession, The Locust, Kill Me Tomorrow and everything Patton's ever released.

[YearZero]

Melvins -fans with under -100 in karma on themelvins.net are directly banned from Melvins' perfomances.