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The Melvins strike again.

They came, they saw, they conquered. And sailed off into the night lights like the Crimson Permanent Assurance.

yet another scorching and devastatingly relentless Blow has been scored by this menace.

They took the Stage by Storm and Just owned it, Killed and totally dominated like always. Before I knew what hit me, they Launched it right into Hag me like establishing a well executed invasion.

A legendary Show, LEGENDARY.

You watch, and still wonder if it is actually real, Like its as good as you imagine its going to be but even better than you can imagine.

Buzz was Just mind-blowing, absolutely Incredible to watch, moved and played so well that words cannot Describe it.

Lightning and heavy thunder Struck afterwards as the crowd poured into the Street like a powerful Omen of things to come. Streets were all washed by the falling rain as I suspected would be the case, The next morning the weather was clear and the air was cooler and a nice wind had set in.   Got back home in time Just to make it to work, and for all I could do washing dishes on the busiest nights of the year, I still wouldnt have been able to keep up with this band on stage.

I have to say that my head is simply Throbbing from enduring the ordeal in all its Glory.

Buzz and Jeff had moments on stage that remind me of the way ZZ-Top would move. My brother was with me the whole time. after, I Asked what he thought Of the Singer-Guitarist-Pianist of Le Bucherettes and he Was intrigued how She was watching the Melvins Play from the side of the stage and dancing and moving, and even flipped the bird to a kid who got up centre stage to Try to Crowd surf! All you saw was a middle finger from behind the curtain stick out after that.


During Fascists eat Donuts she came out and sang into the Mic with Buzz and Hopped around and shook it up. My brother said she was like a wild Cave woman  she threw herself around in a barrage of petite finesse and stood behind Jeff and held her arms out like a pair of Wings as he finished off the set with his Delay swells on bass.
Who was this mystery Woman in the Red Dress Channeling into Jello, and Elvis a bit even..WOW Can she EVER WAIL on vocals, wow..WOW..and WOW! Glad I grabber their CD too!!! Dont be CHEAP!


Dale Slammed His Sticks at the end, and they flew like no rapper could drop the mic as bad ass as this mofo.

Like: YO PEACE OUT MA-FUCKAZ!

Dale was pushing hard, Driving himself beyond human capacity, he simply is an unstoppable Machine.

This Set Has DRIVE and POWER.

The Vocals were Divine and sibilant, The sound man was on his A-Game, and The whole night went off without a hitch.

Again, Jeff and Buzz Gelled together like ZZ-TOP on stage at some points.

The crowd was well tempered, and make no mistake, It was an Excellent Turnout.

someone did Get their asses hauled out by Security two thirds of the way through the Non-stop Set.

8 Dollar Tall cans were a good thing in a sense that not too many people got Roaringly Intoxicated.

The first thing that happened as I got to the show was spot Mr. Walsby at first pass ( As I was sharking) out front..and forgot who I was in that moment..(sorry for Chatting up your Fresh-air break sir, felt I was not an attentive listener, I know I struggle in conversations with people Im Happy to see! but have never met, especially Artists who I like as an art guy myself, I dont meet many Artists, especially whose Artwork I recognize and resonate with, and reflect upon the  Clever humor.)

I dropped $200 smackers at the Merch Table straight up and Brians Canuck biased melvins artwork was so friggin AWESOME, I couldnt pick or choose so he pulled one of the Gene Simmons Police story ones from under the table and of course It was REALLY good too!!! I was elated!!! Thank you so much!!! Its going to be framed next to a picture of Buzz who is like Mein Fuhrer, It was so Awesome they finally smuggled some Wicked Merch up north. I got in line again, appealed to Brian do me a favour and give Jeff one of my home-made Squadron hats (to which he was thoroughly glad to do, and said he will make sure he gets it for me! Thanks again! Outstanding!) There wasnt much time to chat so Hopefully some of the information will get through to Jeff about the origins of that LONG out of Production hat, Its basically an unobtanium pattern, I wonder if he will dig it, it is a good colour like his Trusty *timeworn* baseball hat* which he briefly removed in salute as he made his exit that night.

I did Bring a GOLF BALL for Buzz, and in hopes I might get him to sign one for me too same with the Hold it in Album but there was no opportunity, Not at the big venues like this anyway..I realize that. He darted out the front door and across the Street, and people Cheered and I applauded him proudly.

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING FOR US in the great white north once again, coming up here and showing us how its done, I am sincerely Grateful. 

(As for the hat for Jeff) : Its a 1950s Type B-1 Flying Cap, for colder weather, Made as close to spec. as I could do using recycled Material. Its a scrappy one for sure. 4-pannel Design (no smartie on top for comfort while wearing headphones so its ideal for Recording studio Hang time) Hope it Fits, and it should have a yellow 96 on the front and also a small patch on the side for the Air Refueling Squadron. And it will last a lifetime, but its not perfect and will fly off your head though, so it needs headphones to keep it on in a serious wind.

Pics soon, Dumpster is Tired.

didnt bump into any of you goobs....disappointed, oh well, more beer for me.

Melvins RULE, you do not.

I confess I bootlegged this on a cassette for posterity and also my own personal Enjoyment, It turned out really great because the sound was done so Well, I told the sound engineer that it was awesome sound..TWICE!!! once for each band, it was exceptionally well done! Its audible, lo-fi to say the least but Distinguished and tolerable due to the prowess of the sound boardsmen, yes, I will make a---- Free--- copy to anyone who missed out *cough cough*Conda *Huagh*

Hope to see you next time boys!!!

CHEERS!


What a great show.

Sent by grocery clerks to collect the bill.

welcome to the melvins army maggot.

basically The whole point of the band originally was to be a band instead of be working with people like Melvin all day 9-5.

Smart.

Im glad they both recognized this, made the consious Decision to do that instead of Joining a goddamn Union.

Owe it all to Melvin* himself to have pissed everyone off so much at work to make them decide Fuck it, lets go for broke man! we can Just join the union if it all fucks up I guess, at least we know what going down that road is like...lets take the one weve never been down instead.

It means follow your dream work together, because if not, even the fun things you like doing in life become a Chore as much as your shitty Job.

It was not easy but let the band show you how its done to lead by your own example.


KEEP DOING YOUR THING!

A Lot of people arent fully sold on These members of the band even now, but I mean Only because they are such a Close match to being equally heavy on their own.

honestly They worked their butts off and made it happen and the hard work paid off, Earned their place to play in the Melvins, who obviously have a good ear for talent, you dont pass that up...you Just dont do it.

Remember what a dream come true these two boys are to this band.

It was probly one of the best things to happen to the melvins, saved the day. 

Lately Ive been playing the Big Biz Tour EP II and It Rules Ok. Its fucking badass heavy as hell, better *sounding* than their produced Albums in my oppinion...not that its better or worse, Just my ear likes the Cut and dry over the Glossy stock in the Full-lengths. 

That EP is a Gem in my CD collection.

Kevin had left the Melvins and that could have been a near case of;  All She wrote for a minute there.

Buzz was asked about that in a recent interview and made me realize Just how the whole Rutabega Rottenhaus thing went over for the band after youve Just put out some of your very best work to date.

Would KILL YA!!! YOU WOULD WANT TO CRAWL UP AND DIE!!!

Realize that without Big-biz to Breathe a new wind into the bands sails and help chart a new heading...that a lot of Great stuff you are now listening to was potentially like the Family photo from back to the future Starting to fade out of existance for a minute or two even. (not that the band would have been done completely at that point or anything by and stretch)

  things may have gone in a way different direction than they took.

Look at how its Turned a fresh chapter for the band and allowed all the things that are happening now to happen.

Thank you Coady and Danger bass PLayin Daddy Jare.

We love you and miss you!!!

War on Wisdom is one of my top very most fav Melvins tunes ever ever.

XOXOX

You got anything nice in the mail you bought yourself lately. 

It needs a catchy name. (Colossus Of Destiny* is not bad, either That Or Buzzo-king  )   

and of course it needs a cleverly titled menu with all the fixins.

Specials, and custom Melvins themed decor.

I could name some items off the menu, but lets see if you can Read my mind.

Expand on this!

...*note* yes I realize I spelled Restraunt bad.

whats all the stuff That dale says on that Track...

He always says something Different Since the houdini Live but I still have trouble following what hes talking about mostly.

since I cannot afford the high price of LPS by the melvins, I think I have to at least give this a shot;

Ebay, god I hate you.

what I beleive may work is that I will have to pay at least 100 bucks for a Melvins LP, Tape it to a cassette and basically RE-SELL the fucking thing to float the next LP purchase of ebay.

God It has come down to this finally.

look what You make me become!!!

I will start with that batch of HAT singles, they are going to be put on tape and re-sold at the same price I payed.

That will be how I gotta get all the LPS I havent had a chance to enjoy.

This is not fucking going to be an easy thing for me. but I want melvins vinyl and I have no fucking money.

I cant beleive the guy whos gonna buy a sealed STAG LP for 300 bucks...what the fuck.

His whole hi-fi system probly isnt even worth HALF that!!!

the god-damn Irony is what kills me.

anyone interested in this please help me network and figure out how I can do this.

I DO make GOOD cassettes man, I just dont want you to start calling me Pinkyslim because Im flipping melvins records to feed my melvins addiction.

I think its actually a good idea if you cant afford the high prices.

buy the vinyl, make a couple Cassette copies and sell it back as fast as you got it.

do you think It could work.. 

Melvins cassettes.

I used to see them more frequnetly on ebay, now it looks like the past coupe of years things are beggining to get leaner.



I mean, in 2004 or 5 I got 2 Sealed GPTs for like 4 bucks a pop!

This is sad times to be a dumpster brother.

I recently watched The decline of western civilization and notice that the Black flag guitar (not sure what it is, it looks like the Ibanez iceman from the 70s..the clear one with the taped up humbucker) Looks almost identical to the one Buzz whipped out on the last track of The Salad of a thousand Delights show, would I be wrong to assume he aquired it from whats the guys name again...dang...Dez..or something..from Black Flag...

either way please fill me in on that guitar because I think its got a friggin SOUND.

wonder...Anyway, thought this would make a good thread starter for the topic of Gear used and endorsed by the melvins. 

I like Details about who what where when why etc...for example questions such as;

when did Buzz get his first guitar, how much and where...(I know more personal details about Nirvana Bio shit than any oldschool Melvins Nostalgia, just because of all the Fame and books written on Kurt *ahem* shitty movie* , not that Im a follower or have read any Nirvana Bios ever, but bandmates and friends used to tell me stuff from the books)

back to This Arbitrary melvins Discussion;

when did he score that Les paul and why a les paul etc...WHY sunn amps and why certain effects and so on.

what was dales Reaction to dave Grohl totally rocking the Big drumkit too. 

I am Fascinated by their gear selection and would like to know more interesting things about The different stuff and setups they have used from time to time. ( Theres probly been other threads about this stuff but damned IF I can find what Im lookin for)

Like that guitar in the revolve video, What attatchents does Buzz have for his guitars...

maybe you have some pictures of just melvins Gear, I think It deserves its own thread here for sure!!!

Technically this should have been just a comment in the freak puke thread, but Im listening to A GROWING DISGUST back to back and Its hotter than the devils balls.

I hear a big heavy chunk in the last third of the song with mostly Dale up front on vocals. (I think) Its pretty un-mistakable.

I Really like how dale does his vocals. They totally make that part. and its very very very Melvins.

This point I need to mention what Trevor is doing when the track goes into the heavy breakdown, nice take.

Then Dales vocals come in after a bit, and he kills it on the heavy part at the end! I Love hearing dale on vocals like that..good good call!

It makes the whole track, I think I hear the other guys too but it could be dales overdub too.

I just wanted to big that up because It really works


Im liking freak puke a little too much right now. its very very...

I just find it hard to believe the determination of the Melvins once again.

I want to wish them well on their summer tour, that nothing may go wrong and smooth sailing etc...

CONGRATS to the hardened-most thick skinned bunch of boys. you're Driven by some Un-earthly Insanity.

They should recycle the sweat from this tour and sell it off as over-priced Boutique quality "product colonge"

That stuff would be so strong and powerfull, I'd probly be Hunted down and raped by a crocodile for just having one drop of that stuff on my sorry person. Probly would cure Anything that ails ya!

or just KILL YA dead!

Again, the two words best fit for describing the 50 day tour, is "TESTICULAR FORTITUDE"

I don't know how they do it, I don't WANT to know.

I'm just gratefull they are dropping by us Canucks for a little while...I'm putting the word out.

We need to saturate these shows guys, Come on HOSERS!

I call upon thee, dogsled, snow-shoe...cross-country ski, Ice-skate your way to these shows...damn it, Buy 20 records at the show AND SMASH THEM ALL!!! OOOhhh-PAAAAA!!!

That is how much I LOVE THIS BAND!!!

if you are Canadian, FALL IN!!!

Don't ask me why, but I was in HMV today and I paused for a while in the "books" section..

Something caught my eye..It was called "dirty" blonde" and I was like..."ohhh noo"


I found myself talking outloud, uttering things and stating this is going too far. What next?

but NO, don't ask me what prompted me to stoop down and pick this awfull thing up and hold it in my hands in all it's Vile and putrid begrimed Canticles.

I threw up in my mouth a little.    As I flipped a few pages, it hit me like a hammer.

The book was almost an EXACT CLONE of "NEITHER HERE NOR THERE" pound for pound!!!

Now, You TELL ME!!!

It's nothing new to these Beloved Melvins that everyone took a huge bite of their GLory pie...and kicked sand in their eyes, and ran off with their Credit...and also helped themselves to a nice stack of  easy $$$ by Drafting OUR favourite band, as Buzz and Dale Cleared the artistic path for everyone else to sneak up behind them, and give them the Cold shaft.

It can't be as bad as all that right? I mean at this point in time, that's like so SO LOW of a blow, It's almost REDUNDANT..even for this four legged...no...I think I'm losing my last nerve..I must have missed something. This would be JUST TOO obvious. TOO EASY...

It HAS to be the Same publisher and group of people who made this book from a set of "templates" or something to save money. It's too close to the Melvins book for my comfort level. It CAN'T be she is just trying to Make money The Easy way, no wait...My head is spinning..This is seriously mind-fucking my life.

SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!

I couldn't go through the whole thing, I just briefly flipped through. The writing and art and photos were pretty, um Well I'm not reviewing this, it's not fit for asswipe.

It IS one and the same as "NEITHER HERE NOR THERE" It is utter RAPE!!!

HELP ME!!! MY MIND!!! MY FRAGILE PSYCHE IS JUST ABOUT TO IMPLODE, Save my mortal soul!!! I must escape this conundrum of Shit.

I found this and It looks like It was someone's AV maybe?

I gotta ask if anyone has info.

I thought I saws it someplace years ago, gotta admit it's cool.

[attachment deleted by admin]

Dumpster diver has ZERO friends!

Once I lent my Houdini Cd to my guitarist back in Highschool and he brought it back the next week singing Hooch, and he had me in stitches.

The line I think was "Master a load a head"

and he was singing it in Buzz's voice like "MAH ASS HAS GOT A LOAD OF HAIR"

It STILL cracks me up 10 years later.

You got any good ones? 

ok ok, so this is probly a thread that has been kicked around here more than once..but..the decades have a-massed a throng of curious items.

(off the top of my head) We've seen a few interesting Melvins collectables come and go, some not-so-official as others, such as;

-Canned meat
-Melvins zippo
-packs of stag matches
-keyrings
-skateboard deck
-8-track
-Shoes
-Belt buckle
-two-headed monstrosity dolls
-Buzz box
-MELVINS blotter sheets

feel free to fill in on some stuff I've missed.

so, I wanted to do A thread for people to bullpen some of thier own concepts for melvins "products"/ "collectables".

some of you already went down this road for sure, I'm thinking about the "king buzzo" doll.
(one of the funniest quotes I read here was when discussing the possibility of a talking-pullstring king buzzo doll, and I forget who, but someone said; "only if it does Buzz's Laugh!" and I nearly crapped my pants laughing!!!)

I dunno, melvins brand shlock to me is like this; They are gonna make cheap plastic shit no matter what, It may as well say "melvins" on it.

The obvious choices are things like;
-creepy crover Gardening gloves/speedo dual pack!
-Melvins Desighner Mumu's
-King Buzzo wigs
(I'm suprised no one has put out action figures of the melvins yet, especially judging by the amount of melvins fans who grew up star wars) 

-Blue Bullhead Condoms would be pretty funny!


I don't really have a good edge or direction myself, I want to see what you can come up with.
(I'm currently thinking of concepts that are worthless to begin with, things that serve no real purpose or have a completely asinine function..like those machines that  can only just un-plug themselves for example, that is a very "melvinesque" kind of concept if you ask me.) 

There's a ton of room here for things that could ONLY be MELVINS brand specific.

Let us see who comes up with the best ULTIMATE all-time Greatest idea/concept.

Figure this must already be a topic that has come up here more than several times.

Just the same, I think it took me a while to track down my First Melvins CD.

It was Live at the fucker club, and I suppose it was just new at the time; therefore In stock locally.

I randomly caught Mombius Hibachi on Much music late one night and was instantly insane about this band!

The next thing I know I'm on a bus downtown to Toronto, and picking up the HONKY LP.

and It was so different than I ever imagined, and It truly and profoundly affected my life forever.

Then I heard LYSOL... and the music has warped my fragile little mind. 

and soon after picked up GPT/OZMA and consequently subjected everyone around me to it's awesome power.


(near the time the bootlicker had just come out, so I also scooped those up as they came out as over priced  "Imports")

went back and bought Bullhead and Lysol on vinyl (and later scrounged up a used Stag LP)...and if that wasn't enough, the record store dude looked at my purchases and said : oh, hey, you know The Melvins are playing in Toronto in a few weeks from now, we got tickets right here if you want?.... two days after my 16th Birthday!!! and I'm not ashamed to admit it was the first "real" concert I ever attended, and it has shadowed everything I've done with my life since.

Those were still the best years of my life so far.

What about you?

OK, I have not been able to offically do any real research into this, but I hear  Vintage analog synthesizer on closely listening to a vast collection of Melvins music over the years, not to mention the circuit bent stuff. Some times Those sneaky melvins (I'm suspecting that a lot of the time it's Dale) will use some really devious sounding very carefully and sparingly, hidden sounds from a variety of classic synthesizers.

I would be interested in learing more, specifically when and where you hear something on a melvins tune that sounds like a synth or some kind of toy that has been circuit bent.
Off the top of my head, I notice lots of Circuit bent toys and gizmos on POTRE, going all the way back to the Throbbing gristle tribute track. (The melvins definetly discovered the potential of circuit bending ages ago and have been keen on that technique ever since coming across it)

I think 'The bit' single has a LOT of really awesome synth, mainly Moog on the remix of Tipping the Lion (I think they gave credit that time) if you have sensative ears you will notice a tone that is not un-like a dentist drill at about 1khz high above the entire track, I can't tell if Buzz is using an actual synth on his guitar, or if it's actually a really messed up moog track that may even be circuit bent itself..or both (again this is why I began this thread to find out who has all the answers)

They seem to be good at "disguising" the synthesizer and not get too carried away putting it up front in a song or the mix.

I hear some on shrinebuilder, there is also the track off H.A.T, when it's all like "Isn't this, isn't this simple.."

uh, the Bride screamed murder has one really devious sounding part with keys or synth, and lets not forget that Adam jones collects synthesizers and Divorced definetly has a huge Bass tone at the beginning, something like a moog taurus 111

also I suspect they've used Arp oddyssey MK11 synths, but before I get too carried away (I gets real exited about my synth sounds man)
I'd like to hear from you!

let me know what, where and when you hear synth ambience on any melvins! (winner gets huge gloating rights over the lesser of us of course)

Thanks~

well, last night my bandmate phoned me up out of the blue and told me his sources said that the melvins are playing the opera house in Toronto, I haven't checked current dates on this site, but is this more than just rumor?

do I really need a change of underwear yet?

Hey all you melvins enthusiasts out there!

I have been trying to clear the waters and meditate a little on a few topic questions. 

basically I was wondering whats Everyones very favourite melvins riff?

and secondly what's the best (most impressive) line in a melvins song ever?

(for me It's always a split decision, But I really like "pig's don't let it)

...THAT IS ALL! , If you want to read on I just want to say a few things (what else is new?)
I showed my buddy the "new one" yesterday in his car on the highway, Is it just me or does'nt it feel like this whole album is what it's like to be on the road?

these guys really look like the've done 20+ years of hard touring, I STRESS "touring HARD" they have added up some ridiculous milage and I just think this album shows tremendous sighns of highway life!!!

Also there is a great interview With Buzz in a metal mag I just read if someone could post it up?
I'm sorry I forgotten the magazine, it could be like terorizer or decibel perhaps..Buzz is driving while he's on the phone and nearly get's in a few close calls.
he talks a bit about life on the road, this album completely reminds me of these crazy road warriors, high-tailing to the next gig.
I was playing a lot of guitar last night and figured a bunch of new stuff out I was so inspired how buzz just constantly writes.
and I just realized, if it wasn't for the melvins, Id have barely anything good to get stoned to.

Thanks guys, keep riffing it up!

I'll keep spliffin' it up, works best for me!

(oh, also I had this Image of "nude with boots" I was wondering if it has sustain power enough to put on paper or a T-shirt..but it's on the fence and needs a push from your thoughts. I just got a funny mental image, a "portrait" of Buzz completely naked except with boots, but you can't see "the captain" because it's just  a GIANT afro too! that was really funny at first for some reason. it should be posted in the WTF section, with the caption "nude with boots")



P.s. my birthday today! (10 years ago, I saw my first ever concer. Yes the Melvins! june 16, It was the best birthday, hopefully I get to make a melvins show 10 years later close to my Birthday! That would RULE! )

"we don't do special packaging for bands that haven't gone gold!"

I want to make them a fake gold record or something, OR at least a melivns looking hand grenade!

It's probly come up in here once in a while, but I am not famililiar with this material.
I was just wondering if it's worth tracking it down, what was the deal with Melvana?

I was just asking Anaconda about this, I wanted to make a bootleg of a melvins show, but I would prefer doing it "legit" ie:

asking the band personally if it's ok, and asking the sound guy if he'd let me hook up a deck to the sound board..if not I will settle for a low-fi hand held casette bootleg, but I'm snobby when it comes to good recordings, the best location to stand with a hand-held device would be right around where the sound booth is, but you'd still get saturation with a cheap little mic, does anyone else here make bootlegs?

and I was wondering if theres any really sneaky bootlegging devices available (that don't sound like crap)

the last time I saw the melvins I snapped a pic. before the show started and they almost took away my camera...bastards (the venue guys, NOT the melvins) my intention was to take a shot BEFORE the show, so I don't piss off the band, just ask primus.


anyway whats the melvins policy on making bootlegs? 

what are the chances of bribing the sound guy?

it's not a big deal in my opinion, I'm a nice guy and I'd probly let someone hook up a deck to my soundboard as long as they were polite and sent me a copy if it turned out.
but you know some people are just born assholes and would never pass the buck as soon as look at you.

I just noticed I got a GREAT bootleg of my own show with a cheap Tascam portastudio once and It sounded better than some of the original tracks, the vocals turned out and the drums turned out WAY better, In my opinion If your band can't afford decent drum recordings try rehearsing and booking a show at a good venue for the sole purpose of bootlegging your own show and you'll get the whole PA sound for your drumset...works for me.

C.Y.A. policy usually, some guys are just "born to anal!"

I take pride In making AWESOME sounding recordings, If I could, I would bring an AKAI open reel and hook it up to the board!


ok and for that matter, what about a video recording?  the answer is usually this;

depends on the venue. depends on your intention with the recorded material, me personally, it's just for personal use (no money)

does the bootlegging policy change depending on the venue? it's mostly frowned upon, but some places are pretty cool about it, I say If you can smoke a joint in the crowd there's a good chance you could pretty much 8mm  the whole show and no one would be the wiser.

I don't think I need to say this but, It's not because I'm cheap, I just get a lot of satisfaction making my own recordings.

anyway thanks guys!

did anyone else try not to burtst out laughing the first time they heard the "roll another one" remix after trying to hold back for about a good minute?

it got me in hysterics and I think that it's the best remix EVER in the history of music...well, I think it's the first remix I've heard that was even better than the origional.

just so you know, I have at least 1000 8 tracks...so if you have any 8 track related questions, pretty sure I will have an answer.

I was interested in the circumstances surrounding the slims 8 track....

who got permission, why..more specificallywho recorded it, how was it released and what was it recorded WITH and how MUCH did they origionally sell for? and most importantly..WHY DIDN'T I GET A EFFIN' MELVINS 8 TRACK!!!!....etc...I am too lazy to dig for the background...you give details!

and if there is anyone experianceing problems with their melvins 8 track, I may be of some assistance.

and seriously, if you got one for you want to sell...I might be interested.

they need to put out an 8 track every freaking day! I think the BEST melvins box set would be ALL 8 tracks!


I am a steve albini type person, if you want to talk about oldschool techknology...I'm a serious bidder GOD DAMMIT! 

this is probly a waste of time post but what isn't?

uh, so like..melvins...yep....how 'boout those good old boys in the melvins, huh?...really something....yessir!

ok well I know this is probly the most suited forum to ask this,  has anyone else ever had a dream of being at a melvins show, or had a dream they were talking to buzz or dale?

I got my guitarist into the melvins and over the years we have both had a few weird melvins dreams.

I dunno...it's funny cuz I think it's a melvins thing, Really...I  mean , I never had dreams of chilling out with like any of my other favourite bands, I mean I can't think of any dreams of hangin in the parking lot with like Zappa or black sabbath or something...no hangin' out with Carcass after the show kinda stuff..naww, nothin' like that, but I've had a few times that I went to a melvins concert in my sleep...hehe..wake up all like "...hmm, that was a pretty neat show...but it didn't really happen"

I duno, I don't see anything wrong about talking about dreams and their meanings...small or big...lots of people think dreams are stupid and meaningless...I don't know, I believe there is something significant about them..and don't mind talking or hearing about dreams.

(whats left of) my band Is relatively based around weird dreams and their link to subconsious worlds, some dreams have cool houses and atmospheres that are not easily tapped into on a consious level, etc..

actually our band is named from the dream my guitarist had about hanging with buzz and shooting guns, He told me about it over the phone like it was so real, buzz was hanging out in some van out in the woods and he was showing My guitarist all his handguns and telling him about this new band he was doing and so I just figured we should use the name he pulled out of that dream...it's a cool name I think

either way, I think I mentioned to Buzz (in real life) that Dale was the reason I ever even picked up a pair of sticks in the first place.
well..
I guess It's a funny thing to say that Buzz named our band, In a dream, I dunno If It would sound really really stupid saying that to the guy?

"hey Buzz...you like, named our band in my guitar players dream!"

he's probly going to think "yeah, in your dreams...exactly"   

do I need help, or am I not the only one?

The VERY FIRST ever concer I ever went to EVER was the melvins in 2000...Toronto, ok? and IT WAS THE BEST.
the single most LOUDEST, brutally sonically raping, LONGEST set I've ever seen a band dish out.
that was a ground shaking experiance that has changed me forever.
I have one picture of buzz from that show left since I lost the rest of my favourite pics sadly (I would prefer to send it privately if anyone is requesting to get a copy, I've never seen any pictures that have turned out like this one)

NOT ONE SINGLE SHOW I've been to since has come CLOSE to being as loud or impresive...and I've seen too many shows.
they must have just released the uh,...Electroretard because they did Lovely butterfly deep into the second set...and it was boiling and sweaty, the air was thick with sound and buzz had this totally esoterric look in his eye, they all dressed up in mu-mu's with red hearts on em', pouring so much sweat his guitar was even dripping sweat...there was a fan somewhere, but It was so loud you'd swear it was the speakers blowing Buzz's huge hair! they brought their own gear and practiacally doubled the SPL of the venue...I mean they brought a LOT of gear, Kevin had that nice Gold top Danelectro, horned bass...nice! dunno if It was hollow or not.

They came through the crowd and all I could see was a huge hair-bush coming though the crowd toward the stage, Buzz passed right by and he gave me a look that was as If he was going to either smile and greetingly acknowledge me, or he was ready to punch my lights out...It never really panned out past the totaly wierd stare (he did looked even freakier at Fantomas, like he could strare directly into every single eye in the crowd at the same time)


anyway the REAL story was seeing them in Montreal Region in 2007, long and short the show was great, despite the fact that they had to rent gear and the drums werent the big monster kit I was so so anticipating, they sadly had no merch either...god damn Goverment!!!
there was only one hotel in the region and it was a middle of nowhere kind of deal...
I had a few beers at the local bar after the show and a few sketched out looking college guys were hanging around that my (ex) girlfriend picked up right after the show to hang out with, they must have "date raped" her beer, cuz she gave it to me and I had 4 big beers at the most, before getting into the cab to go to the hotel, I got spinningly sick on route...had to run into the room to be sick...next morning I was F@#ed, It felt like my head was in a long sewer pipe...not good...like a hangover louder than a jet engine..I went down to grab some breakfast and was just joking over a cup of coffee, that The sweat hogs probly stayed at this very same hotel...low and behold,  I look up and buzz and crew are checking out and rolling through the lobby..so I kina geeked out big-time.

I had a really nice chat with buzz while he loaded his guitar in the van, he's a 1st class guy all the way man!
I didn't want to bother them too much, but basically it's nothing they probly don't get a million times over..
he was in a pretty good mood, I mean it was probly a suprise to see melvins fans in the middle of nowhere, Buzz seems like he's got the modesty to appreciate people who come a LONG way to see them play.
I get the impression that he is quite "personable"
he introduced himself to us and that says a lot about his respect.

I didn't speak to Jared or anything, I dunno, I'm embarrassed I don't know them too well, plus he didn't seem like he was having a good morning or something, so I tried not to bug him, I think I must have woken dale up a bit because I came up behind him to get the door while he was carrying his cymbal bag to the van...I have been told he's a bit shy..so I just said "hey, dale..that was Awesome!" well, he didn't say much so he was probly tired too, seeing them made me forget how tired I was, I mean It was like 7 in the morning right?

I think he just was content to see a big fan, there were no other serious melvins type guys at the show, it was a mixed festival..lots of gigs happening.
I confessed that, yes I'm wearing a melvins shirt to a melvins show, making me a huge loser...but "come on, It's the MELVINS dude!!!"
I would have asked for his autograph on the shirt or something...but I mean I'm not the guy to ask for that kind of stuff from people who are true Idols.
I was asking him about his gold tooth and how much It cost, I never noticed it untill I was standing in front of him.

I had to apologize for being so "hung over" and tried to explain what must have happened, I think the rest of the guys in the van, like dale and coady were starting to get pissed I was talking with buzz and they must have had a long way to go, Jared was sort of giving me the eye a little...heheh..well I think all in all I only chatted buzz up for a good 5 minutes before They were on their way.

anyway I dunno, we had a good chat, and it was really nice to meet em' really nice guy, I gotta say, I look back on that and just think "wow, what a fine man....wow"

I dunno, I feel like there are a lot of things artistically about the melvins that I feel I share as an artist, I made a really awesome peice that was a hand painted skate-board deck with the Kozik "Hitler Bunny" from electro retard, next time I see them, I'm handing it over to Buzz fo shiz, he's definetly got a good eye for collecting weird stuff, again he's a man after me own heart he is! .

yep, hail to the melvins!

p.s. to anyone who reads this far, Sorry for the long read.