Melvins brand Products you would like to see.

[Dumpster D]

ok ok, so this is probly a thread that has been kicked around here more than once..but..the decades have a-massed a throng of curious items.

(off the top of my head) We've seen a few interesting Melvins collectables come and go, some not-so-official as others, such as;

-Canned meat
-Melvins zippo
-packs of stag matches
-keyrings
-skateboard deck
-8-track
-Shoes
-Belt buckle
-two-headed monstrosity dolls
-Buzz box
-MELVINS blotter sheets

feel free to fill in on some stuff I've missed.

so, I wanted to do A thread for people to bullpen some of thier own concepts for melvins "products"/ "collectables".

some of you already went down this road for sure, I'm thinking about the "king buzzo" doll.
(one of the funniest quotes I read here was when discussing the possibility of a talking-pullstring king buzzo doll, and I forget who, but someone said; "only if it does Buzz's Laugh!" and I nearly crapped my pants laughing!!!)

I dunno, melvins brand shlock to me is like this; They are gonna make cheap plastic shit no matter what, It may as well say "melvins" on it.

The obvious choices are things like;
-creepy crover Gardening gloves/speedo dual pack!
-Melvins Desighner Mumu's
-King Buzzo wigs
(I'm suprised no one has put out action figures of the melvins yet, especially judging by the amount of melvins fans who grew up star wars) 

-Blue Bullhead Condoms would be pretty funny!


I don't really have a good edge or direction myself, I want to see what you can come up with.
(I'm currently thinking of concepts that are worthless to begin with, things that serve no real purpose or have a completely asinine function..like those machines that  can only just un-plug themselves for example, that is a very "melvinesque" kind of concept if you ask me.) 

There's a ton of room here for things that could ONLY be MELVINS brand specific.

Let us see who comes up with the best ULTIMATE all-time Greatest idea/concept.

[glen]

the first person that says "hair care products" gets a punch in the stomach.

[Dumpster D]

Thinking about the action figures, the one of Buzz would totally be straight out of the King buzzo EP, you know the one I'm talking about!

[jules]

Counselling.

[rictus]

(off the top of my head) We've seen a few interesting Melvins collectables come and go, some not-so-official as others, such as;

-Canned meat
-Melvins zippo
-packs of stag matches
-keyrings
-skateboard deck
-8-track
-Shoes
-Belt buckle
-two-headed monstrosity dolls
-Buzz box
-MELVINS blotter sheets

feel free to fill in on some stuff I've missed.

There was those paper weight things awhile back


If only McFarlane toys would put out some Melvins toys.

[norecess]

melvins toilet paper
melvins puke bags
melvins fishing hooks
melvins white paint
melvins water
melvins aglets
melvins karaoke
melvins bananas
melvins facebook likes

[jules]

aglets

That was my favourite word for a whole week back in the 90s. It was followed by segs.

[rictus]

melvins toilet paper

with "I could write a better riff with my asshole" stamped on it.

[glen]

melvins bananas

my lawyers have requested that I ask for a minimum 30% of all proceeds from the sale of this item.

[black stallion]

melvins socks

melvins cell

melvins cigs

melvins hairdryer

melvins bidet

melvins dildo

melvins suppositories pack

melvins hair gel

melvins boots

melvins pizza

melvins clock

melvins credit card

melvins fake moustaches

melvins vespa

[rictus]

Melvins should just open their own restaurant, with entrees named after their songs. Like; 'Honey Bucket....of chicken', 'At the Steak'(ribeye), 'Billy Fish'(fried catfish), 'Mombius Hibachi','Hog Leg'(you get an actual whole hog leg), 'Shit Storm'(bean burritos), 'Soup', etc...

'Moon Pie' for dessert, and their specialty drinks: 'Eggnog', 'Blood Witch'(bloody mary), 'Hooch', etc....

And a little store in the front like Cracker Barrel that sells their merch. 

[TheLegitMan93]

I would eat there every day.

[dijk cheese]

Counselling.

i'd book a session.

[Pelican]

A toilet brush that looks like King Buzzo.

[Dumpster D]

I Think the Restraunt Should be called "Lovely Butterflies". 

..wonder what I'd get If I ordered a "Houdini" ?