ok ok, so this is probly a thread that has been kicked around here more than once..but..the decades have a-massed a throng of curious items.
(off the top of my head) We've seen a few interesting Melvins collectables come and go, some not-so-official as others, such as;
-Canned meat
-Melvins zippo
-packs of stag matches
-keyrings
-skateboard deck
-8-track
-Shoes
-Belt buckle
-two-headed monstrosity dolls
-Buzz box
-MELVINS blotter sheets
feel free to fill in on some stuff I've missed.
so, I wanted to do A thread for people to bullpen some of thier own concepts for melvins "products"/ "collectables".
some of you already went down this road for sure, I'm thinking about the "king buzzo" doll.
(one of the funniest quotes I read here was when discussing the possibility of a talking-pullstring king buzzo doll, and I forget who, but someone said; "only if it does Buzz's Laugh!" and I nearly crapped my pants laughing!!!)
I dunno, melvins brand shlock to me is like this; They are gonna make cheap plastic shit no matter what, It may as well say "melvins" on it.
The obvious choices are things like;
-creepy crover Gardening gloves/speedo dual pack!
-Melvins Desighner Mumu's
-King Buzzo wigs
(I'm suprised no one has put out action figures of the melvins yet, especially judging by the amount of melvins fans who grew up star wars)
-Blue Bullhead Condoms would be pretty funny!
I don't really have a good edge or direction myself, I want to see what you can come up with.
(I'm currently thinking of concepts that are worthless to begin with, things that serve no real purpose or have a completely asinine function..like those machines that can only just un-plug themselves for example, that is a very "melvinesque" kind of concept if you ask me.)
There's a ton of room here for things that could ONLY be MELVINS brand specific.
Let us see who comes up with the best ULTIMATE all-time Greatest idea/concept.
the first person that says "hair care products" gets a punch in the stomach.
Thinking about the action figures, the one of Buzz would totally be straight out of the King buzzo EP, you know the one I'm talking about!
Counselling.
Quote from: Dumpster D on November 10, 2011, 02:10:34 PM
(off the top of my head) We've seen a few interesting Melvins collectables come and go, some not-so-official as others, such as;
-Canned meat
-Melvins zippo
-packs of stag matches
-keyrings
-skateboard deck
-8-track
-Shoes
-Belt buckle
-two-headed monstrosity dolls
-Buzz box
-MELVINS blotter sheets
feel free to fill in on some stuff I've missed.
There was those paper weight things awhile back
If only McFarlane toys would put out some Melvins toys.
melvins toilet paper
melvins puke bags
melvins fishing hooks
melvins white paint
melvins water
melvins aglets
melvins karaoke
melvins bananas
melvins facebook likes
Quote from: norecess on November 10, 2011, 02:50:39 PM
aglets
That was my favourite word for a whole week back in the 90s. It was followed by segs.
Quote from: norecess on November 10, 2011, 02:50:39 PM
melvins toilet paper
with "I could write a better riff with my asshole" stamped on it.
Quote from: norecess on November 10, 2011, 02:50:39 PM
melvins bananas
my lawyers have requested that I ask for a minimum 30% of all proceeds from the sale of this item.
melvins socks
melvins cell
melvins cigs
melvins hairdryer
melvins bidet
melvins dildo
melvins suppositories pack
melvins hair gel
melvins boots
melvins pizza
melvins clock
melvins credit card
melvins fake moustaches
melvins vespa
Melvins should just open their own restaurant, with entrees named after their songs. Like; 'Honey Bucket....of chicken', 'At the Steak'(ribeye), 'Billy Fish'(fried catfish), 'Mombius Hibachi','Hog Leg'(you get an actual whole hog leg), 'Shit Storm'(bean burritos), 'Soup', etc...
'Moon Pie' for dessert, and their specialty drinks: 'Eggnog', 'Blood Witch'(bloody mary), 'Hooch', etc....
And a little store in the front like Cracker Barrel that sells their merch. :o
I would eat there every day.
A toilet brush that looks like King Buzzo.
I Think the Restraunt Should be called "Lovely Butterflies". :)
..wonder what I'd get If I ordered a "Houdini" ?
:D
Quote from: Dumpster D on November 11, 2011, 02:55:29 PM
..wonder what I'd get If I ordered a "Houdini" ?
A whole boiled cornish game hen, hung upside from it's feet, half-submerged in a bowl of soup.
Quote from: (the) rictus on November 11, 2011, 03:01:46 PM
Quote from: Dumpster D on November 11, 2011, 02:55:29 PM
..wonder what I'd get If I ordered a "Houdini" ?
A whole boiled cornish game hen, hung upside from it's feet, half-submerged in a bowl of soup.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
And if you ordered a Red Houdini, you get a knuckle sandwich.
Quote from: TheLegitMan93 on November 11, 2011, 01:14:35 PM
I would eat there every day.
i want to get really fat eating all that shit
Fantomas pinball machine set. The machines could feature a set of triggered sound effects from each album and if the targets were hit in the proper order it would produce portions of the songs. The machines themselves would feature album artwork. I've voiced this idea before but I have yet to see any progress on the project.
yes I know its not a Melvins item.
The resturant idea was great. Just dont order the creepy smell, its a pair of Dale's underwear presented fajita style in a sizzeling skillet of buttsweat collected directly from Dale's drumming stool. I heard if you order the deluxe that Crover himself will fart on it before they bring it out.
affordable vinyl?
Quote from: Afterbirthmilkshake on November 11, 2011, 07:01:14 PM
Just dont order the creepy smell, its a pair of Dale's underwear presented fajita style in a sizzeling skillet of buttsweat collected directly from Dale's drumming stool. I heard if you order the deluxe that Crover himself will fart on it before they bring it out.
8-[
yeah, I remember the Fantomas Pinball machine Idea from a year ago, IT's BRILLIANT!
I think that totally deserves to be put into prduction, they need one for the first two records for SURE!!!
I'm in love with that! GREAT GREAT IDEA!!!
It's just too much!
...oh before I forget (on a side note) when we also were talking about melvins song meanings...
Isn't a Houdini when you spit on a chicks back as your faking a climax, and when she turns around you jizz in her face????
- No. 2 Pencil
- Dale Crover brand briefs (or speedos)
- X Mu-mu
- Kevin Rutamanis brand "wobble shoes"
- Melvins brand ear plugs
- Melvins toothbrush & toilet brush set (can I ask for a plunger, too?)
- Buzzo wig!
So many more imaginary collectibles I've dreamt of over the years. Alas, now I just collect memories and wild ideas.
Quote from: TryChicken on November 12, 2011, 12:16:21 PM
Alas, now I just collect memories and wild ideas.
:lol:
You sound like Uncle Monty. I'm waiting for the muumuus to go on sale. An X one and an animal one, please.
- Jet Pack
- Time Machine
- Vibrator
- Flame Thrower
- Holga-like Camera
- Roller Skates
- Tartan (w/matching leg warmers)
- Waffle Maker
I'll take one of each, please.
I should probably get the counseling, too.
Quote from: jules on November 12, 2011, 12:30:14 PM
I'm waiting for the muumuus to go on sale. An X one and an animal one, please.
I'll take this in SMALL.
[/quote]
Sorry, they only come in X-Large. :P