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MELVINS => Melvins Discussion => Topic started by: Amberdala on May 28, 2006, 01:34:39 AM

Title: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Amberdala on May 28, 2006, 01:34:39 AM
I was at a show a few years back and as the Melvins were playing there was a girl standing near me blabbing about how drunk she was and how cute her shoes were or some shit. A guy leans over to her and says, "Excuse me, would you mind being quiet? This is like a religious experience for some people."

It made me laugh. I love the Melvins but I have never quite thought of them as a religious experience. Blasphemous, I know. Just thought I would share.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: mopafeena on May 28, 2006, 01:38:52 AM
The guy was probally just taking the piss. Pretty funny though.

Although, maybe seeing the melvins IS a religious experience.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: blacksanta on May 28, 2006, 03:41:05 AM
"Did somebody step in dogshit? What's that smell? ladies and gentlemen, the proudest moment in the Melvins' career, LIEF GARRETT!!!"
-King Buzzo, Roseland Theater, PDX 2000
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: mopafeena on May 28, 2006, 06:11:18 AM
Quote from: blacksanta on May 28, 2006, 03:41:05 AM
"Did somebody step in dogshit? What's that smell? ladies and gentlemen, the proudest moment in the Melvins' career, LIEF GARRETT!!!"
-King Buzzo, Roseland Theater, PDX 2000

:lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: FartLips on May 28, 2006, 07:08:16 AM
buzz making fun of "rage against the latrine"
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: GrimReaper on May 28, 2006, 07:47:15 AM

The ranting of Buzzo during any show are hilarious. I started a thread years ago called the World according to Buzzo and transcribed some of them.

The Cap Hill Block Party Buzz said some very funny and yet kind things about Kevin. That had to be one of his last shows.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: anaconda on May 28, 2006, 09:55:05 AM
'Which one's Buzz?'
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: CaptainPungent on May 28, 2006, 11:18:31 AM
Quote from: anaconda on May 28, 2006, 09:55:05 AM
'Which one's Buzz?'
haha
"when is this song over"
-some girl (on potre)

maybe not word for word, something like that.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: FartLips on May 28, 2006, 11:59:21 AM
"he walks with many women" - buzz osborne, after watching mark d. walk off with one of the locals.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: didlisquat on May 28, 2006, 05:41:50 PM
I believe it was the 4 X 4 tour when Buzz said " coughing up blood, i think i've had enough!". I was jumping five feet in the air (like i do at almost every show), and started laughing my ass off when i heard Buzz say that out of no where.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Tyuge on May 28, 2006, 06:46:56 PM
it was at the cat's cradle a few years back, and George Clinton was going to be there a few nights after the melvins. Buzz was doing some rant about the "Buzz Future Friends Fanclub" and out of no where said "Oh! Who is going to see George Clinton?" no one gave any indication that they were, including myself (it was 30 bucks, man!) and Buzz says, "Yep. That's what i thought." and then went back into what he was blabbing about before. it cracked me up. it was so absurd, this old guy with an afro, wearing a Mumu, blabbering about nothing at all while another fat old guy in his underwear plays the same drum beat over and over. the britney spears song after the show was great too. i love the melvins.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: CaptainPungent on May 28, 2006, 07:17:57 PM
Quote from: Tyuge on May 28, 2006, 06:46:56 PM
it was at the cat's cradle a few years back,
i know you, don't i?
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: EGO the Living Planet on May 28, 2006, 07:43:50 PM

When Jucifer opened I heard the guy next to yell to his friends as Jucifer's incredibly LOUD set started:

"FUCK! MY KNEECAPS ARE VIBRATING!"
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Lividity on May 28, 2006, 09:47:13 PM
"Excuse me, I'm sorry but I have to (BARRRRF)"
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Anti Vermin Seed on May 28, 2006, 10:19:36 PM
Buzz was ranting about how he should make a living making Philly cheese steaks. Then Canada somehow came into the picture and he said "Fuck Cannada and their free healthcare"  :P
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Buick GN on May 28, 2006, 10:26:42 PM
..newbies applauding/cheering for an encore.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: TGH on May 28, 2006, 10:41:16 PM
Quote from: Buick GN on May 28, 2006, 10:26:42 PM
..newbies applauding/cheering for an encore.

I've seen them on bootlegs doing an encore before. I beleive at some Kentucky show they came back out and did Youth of America.

I remeber I took all my friends to see the Melvins back in '04. It was rather entertaining to hear them whine about POTRE, seeing as how they usually enjoy pop music. Luckily, my friends are now "tolerating" them and actually enjoy a song or two.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: blacksanta on May 28, 2006, 11:31:54 PM
Not only did they used to do encores, their shows were frigging long.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on May 29, 2006, 04:51:05 AM
Quote from: blacksanta on May 28, 2006, 11:31:54 PM
Not only did they used to do encores, their shows were frigging long.

well, that depends on the setting.
Ive seen both.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: norecess on May 29, 2006, 07:47:37 AM
Quote from: didlisquat on May 28, 2006, 05:41:50 PM
I believe it was the 4 X 4 tour when Buzz said " coughing up blood, i think i've had enough!"

That's a Leech line!

Quote from: TGH on May 28, 2006, 10:41:16 PM
I've seen them on bootlegs doing an encore before. I beleive at some Kentucky show they came back out and did Youth of America.

Sure they didn't just remain silence for a few minutes, changed the sign on an amp in teh back from 'Melvins' to 'Thank You'?

Quote from: klump on May 29, 2006, 04:51:05 AM
Quote from: blacksanta on May 28, 2006, 11:31:54 PM
Not only did they used to do encores, their shows were frigging long.
well, that depends on the setting.
Ive seen both.

Yeah, I have a '89 bootleg with Lorax that blows my mind every time I watch it, even though it's only about 30 minutes long. Not even maybe. It's beyond time.

Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: didlisquat on May 29, 2006, 10:32:44 AM
Check your lyrics norecess, that isn't in the song leech. Maybe Buzz has used that line before ,but it ain't in leech. And the way he did it at the show was one of those gotta be there type things.It was more like "coooooooooooooughing up bloooooooooooooooooooooood, i think i've had enough" after a long heavy feedback session. Still my favorite single line by Buzz at a show and i've seen over twenty in the past thirteen years.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Hog log on May 29, 2006, 10:38:35 AM
i'm deaf
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: norecess on May 29, 2006, 11:01:49 AM
Quote from: didlisquat on May 29, 2006, 10:32:44 AM
Check your lyrics norecess, that isn't in the song leech.

http://www.themelvins.net/forum/index.php?topic=3654.0
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: KURDTLUVUR! on May 29, 2006, 12:25:53 PM
Quote from: norecess on May 29, 2006, 11:01:49 AM
Quote from: didlisquat on May 29, 2006, 10:32:44 AM
Check your lyrics norecess, that isn't in the song leech.

http://www.themelvins.net/forum/index.php?topic=3654.0
:lol:
Za Zing!

time to eat crow.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: glen on May 29, 2006, 06:40:16 PM
Quote from: Amberdala on May 28, 2006, 01:34:39 AM
I was at a show a few years back and as the Melvins were playing there was a girl standing near me blabbing about how drunk she was and how cute her shoes were or some shit. A guy leans over to her and says, "Excuse me, would you mind being quiet? This is like a religious experience for some people."

It made me laugh. I love the Melvins but I have never quite thought of them as a religious experience. Blasphemous, I know. Just thought I would share.

yep.  last time in detroit some young fella was being dragged out by his pals and one dude standing by me says (as if to mock the unconscious fella)    " this was a religious experience "   must be more common than I thought.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: TGH on May 29, 2006, 10:04:58 PM
Quote from: norecess on May 29, 2006, 07:47:37 AM
Quote from: TGH on May 28, 2006, 10:41:16 PM
I've seen them on bootlegs doing an encore before. I beleive at some Kentucky show they came back out and did Youth of America.

Sure they didn't just remain silence for a few minutes, changed the sign on an amp in teh back from 'Melvins' to 'Thank You'?

Yeah, they do their "last song" then stand there for like five minutes, then bust into Youth of America. I guess because they didn't leave the stage, it doesn't really count as an encore. But I dunno.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Pelican on May 29, 2006, 11:20:28 PM
2 things I saw, not really heard.

1. Was when they played at North Six in Brooklyn a couple years ago. Near the end of show some dude got up on stage and attempted to do a backflip into the crowd. Attempted being the key word. He landed right on his head. I felt bad for the guy, but at the same time it was hilarious. He was carried out on the shoulders of two friends. I think he got hurt kinda bad.

2. The "Melvins" on one side "Thank You" on the other sign. Watching the Melvins stand in place silent for what seemed like 10 minutes without any expression was awesome. It drove the crowd nuts, and when Kevin flipped the sign the place went totally insane. That was probably the coolest thing I've ever seen at any live performance of any kind.



And not Melvins related, but funny. At a Sonic Youth concert after the opening act was gone and a few minutes before Sonic Youth took the stage some dude jumped on the stage and screamed into the mic, "My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiid Rock!!!!!" Yeah, it sounds pretty stupid, but it was hilarious and he made the whole place laugh.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: idiotboy on May 31, 2006, 04:18:19 AM
Mark D :

'My name is sheryl crowe and every day is a winding road'
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: deatheats on May 31, 2006, 11:22:41 AM
Dale said, "Some folks backstage said they didn't recognize me cause I'd gotten fat.  Well, Elvis got fat too..."
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: ___-----_____------_____ on May 31, 2006, 12:39:34 PM
here's an old thread with some good quotes, can't believe I actually found it.


http://www.themelvins.net/forum/index.php?topic=1522.0
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on May 31, 2006, 05:01:58 PM
Quote from: ___-----_____------_____ on May 31, 2006, 12:39:34 PM
here's an old thread with some good quotes, can't believe I actually found it.


http://www.themelvins.net/forum/index.php?topic=1522.0

haha, dirty hippy :lol:
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Uncle Fester on May 31, 2006, 06:46:56 PM
when i saw the melvins with jello......buzz never said a thing.
but at the concert, There was this big native guy... real intimidiating guy..... while the melvins were playing... in the pit....he made headway for me..... literally headway...... he charged at me with his head......and knocked me the fuck down.
Shortly after that some guy was telling me that to be headbutted by that big native guy was a big feat and that i was actually blessed.
weird.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on May 31, 2006, 06:49:33 PM
Quote from: Uncle Fester on May 31, 2006, 06:46:56 PM
when i saw the melvins with jello......buzz never said a thing.
but at the concert, There was this big native guy... real intimidiating guy..... while the melvins were playing... in the pit....he made headway for me..... literally headway...... he charged at me with his head......and knocked me the fuck down.
Shortly after that some guy was telling me that to be headbutted by that big native guy was a big feat and that i was actually blessed.
weird.

are you sure he wasnt just a fat samoan?*

*=see fear and loathing
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: norecess on June 01, 2006, 05:13:01 AM
I have a bootleg of a Melvins show at an outdoor festival. After about half an hour during the set, Tim Moss is coming up on stage and is wearing a Viking hat and is being introduced by Dale: 'Ladies and gentlemen, the singer of ... MANOWAR!'

That was it.

:lol:
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: CaptainPungent on June 01, 2006, 08:41:03 AM
how 'bout melvins need to play more shows in the south (preferably nc)
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Lunica on June 01, 2006, 12:47:57 PM
how about you move to california (buzz quote)
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: KURDTLUVUR! on June 01, 2006, 12:50:19 PM
The south doesn't take kindly to melvins-folks down there!
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on June 01, 2006, 01:56:27 PM
"they`re little green people, we call em boogers!"
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Lunica on June 01, 2006, 03:30:10 PM
hah! i EAT boogers.
uh.. do i?
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: KURDTLUVUR! on June 01, 2006, 06:29:00 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v416/BoogerEater/pp.jpg)
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Kessel on June 01, 2006, 07:12:54 PM
She was funny at a concert?
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: Uncle Fester on June 02, 2006, 12:14:43 AM
Quote from: klump on May 31, 2006, 06:49:33 PM
Quote from: Uncle Fester on May 31, 2006, 06:46:56 PM
when i saw the melvins with jello......buzz never said a thing.
but at the concert, There was this big native guy... real intimidiating guy..... while the melvins were playing... in the pit....he made headway for me..... literally headway...... he charged at me with his head......and knocked me the fuck down.
Shortly after that some guy was telling me that to be headbutted by that big native guy was a big feat and that i was actually blessed.
weird.

are you sure he wasnt just a fat samoan?*

*=see fear and loathing
i know the difference. and i have seen the movie. this guy was native. not fat.....very tall... and very scary.
but the samoans are not to be messed with either.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: BlueBob on June 02, 2006, 04:34:05 AM
After the 2x4 show in Vegas, the melvins were sitting at their merch booth (before buzz was scared of fans, which this event could be a result) this girl that I sorta knew (which had never heard of the melvins before seeing them that night) got down on her knees to buzz and started saying some crazy shit like "you really are the king, blah blah blah" or some bullshit and he sat there with no reaction and then I said "your not a melvins fan" and it got real quite. SHe shut up, buzz didn't blink an eye. I thought it was hilarious...
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on June 02, 2006, 05:36:52 AM
that must be really uncomfirtable...
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: FartLips on June 02, 2006, 05:00:27 PM
DONT TOUCH THE HAIR!!! - buzz after a girl tried to touch his hair.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: klump on June 03, 2006, 12:06:49 AM
Quote from: FART LIPS on June 02, 2006, 05:00:27 PM
DONT TOUCH THE HAIR!!! - buzz after a girl tried to touch his hair.

haha!
was he mad?

Its really annoying with people you dont know (or barely know) , just feel free to touch your hair, just because its different.
People did this quite frequently when I had dreads...

One woman sniffed my hair.

Isnt that a thing only hippies and serial killers do?
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: KURDTLUVUR! on June 03, 2006, 01:00:54 AM
Quote from: klump on June 03, 2006, 12:06:49 AM
Quote from: FART LIPS on June 02, 2006, 05:00:27 PM
DONT TOUCH THE HAIR!!! - buzz after a girl tried to touch his hair.

haha!
was he mad?

Its really annoying with people you dont know (or barely know) , just feel free to touch your hair, just because its different.
People did this quite frequently when I had dreads...

One woman sniffed my hair.

Isnt that a thing only hippies and serial killers do?

A woman sniffed your hair?!?!?   :shock: :shock: That's almost like you grabbing her teat.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: mopafeena on June 03, 2006, 04:34:12 AM
Quote from: KURDTLUVUR! on June 03, 2006, 01:00:54 AM
Quote from: klump on June 03, 2006, 12:06:49 AM
Quote from: FART LIPS on June 02, 2006, 05:00:27 PM
DONT TOUCH THE HAIR!!! - buzz after a girl tried to touch his hair.

haha!
was he mad?

Its really annoying with people you dont know (or barely know) , just feel free to touch your hair, just because its different.
People did this quite frequently when I had dreads...

One woman sniffed my hair.

Isnt that a thing only hippies and serial killers do?

A woman sniffed your hair?!?!?
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: FartLips on June 03, 2006, 06:20:58 AM
buzz seemed to be a bit annoyed.  i'm sure he gets a lot of that.
Title: Re: Funniest thing heard at a Melvins concert?
Post by: CaptainPungent on June 03, 2006, 02:57:31 PM
when i met him and helped him at his truck, he was a really nice guy.

when we got in and they started playing, i was right smack in front of him.
i forgot about this part
he put a pick in his mouth, and it fell
later on, i tried to get it, but a kid saw i was going for it, and got it for himself instead
his friends said something like this:
"ew, shit, isn't that buzz spit?"

it went something like that, but i was happy if it did have spit and got all over that guy.