- Buzz is allergic to Circus Peanuts.
- Melvin Jacob Weinstein, the obnoxious grocery store clerk who inspired the band
neat!!
:lol: not bad mike, not bad.
You forgot one:
Buzz attempted to inject Mr. Cobain with enough heroin to make a blue whale OD.
Quote from: deatheats on May 07, 2008, 04:26:29 PM
You forgot one:
Buzz attempted to inject Mr. Cobain with enough heroin to make a blue whale OD.
in my heart of hearts, i want this to be true.
c'mon, peeps, let's see some more.
buzzos hair isn't really his.
it's a don king wig.
Dale Crover's first drum set was given to him by the bassist of the Dead Milkmen.
Almost all of the songs off of HAT are about Buzz having an argument with his wife.
Jared didn't learn to play bass until after he joined KARP.
The "Melvins" made a fake Nude With Boots to be leaked months before the real album came out.
Buzz is really bald, but uses one long hair to create the terrible comb over that he sports.
The old Melvin's bass players have a bowling team that meets for Thursday night coeds, Team name is the Bassist's Morgue Maniacs.
The small animal on of the cover of Nude With Boots is a Central American field weasel.
:lol:
Buzz's real name is Harold Manchester.
Dale has had AIDS for 6 years.
Buzz and Jared were Conjoined Twins, then seperated and then reunited 2 years ago.
Melvins are not gay.
This entire thread is reminiscent of this:
http://www.themelvins.net/forum/index.php?topic=2955.0
Quote from: deatheats on May 07, 2008, 04:26:29 PM
You forgot one:
Buzz attempted to inject Mr. Cobain with enough heroin to make a blue whale OD.
"Attempted" implies he did not do so.
B.O. hot-shot Kurdt and then savagely anal-pounded Mrs. C.
Buzz really likes bacon sandwiches.
Quote from: Uncle Fester on May 09, 2008, 09:42:42 PM
Dale has had AIDS for 6 years.
And has been cured twice.
Quote from: jaymz on May 12, 2008, 08:01:21 AM
Quote from: Uncle Fester on May 09, 2008, 09:42:42 PM
Dale has had AIDS for 6 years.
And has been cured twice.
and then got it again, but this time it was the Super AIDS Virus, wich has no cure.
Quote from: Uncle Fester on May 09, 2008, 09:42:42 PM
Dale has had AIDS for 6 years.
Dale Crover ate AIDS for breakfast, shit out enough ebola to take out three mega malls, waded through the corpses for the choiciest specimens and made drum heads with the softest of the skins.....
- Michael Jackson decided to abuse children after hearing Eggnog.
Quote from: jaymz on May 13, 2008, 01:26:14 PM
- Michael Jackson decided to abuse children after hearing Eggnog.
:lol: thats fucking great!
jared is buzz's and lorax's love child
This is like a Weekly World News article bute for MElvins. Hilarious. :lol:
Buzz has the latest posts from Melvins.net sent directly to his cell phone.
Quote from: linesbetweentheread on May 16, 2008, 05:59:52 PM
Buzz has the latest posts from Melvins.net sent directly to his cell phone.
he doesn't have a cell phone, they go directly to his bionic eye.
The Melvins are gay, some of their songs are just noise.
after a little more research, i came across a few more ...
- Brian Wilson claimed on several nonconsecutive occasions that the melvins stole the composition notes for the Beach Boys' unfinished magnum opus SMILE, which the melvins then re-named PRICK.
- the lyrics to "hooch" are a sophisticated anagram. when decoded and cross-referenced with the inscription above the carving of the demon Asmodeus at the Church of Mary Magdalene in Rennes-le-Chateau, France, and paired with the geometric patterns that outline the figures in michelangelo's fresco of God creating Adam in the sistine chapel, the anagram becomes algorithmic coordinates that can be plotted on a cartesian grid over the Holy Land. these coordinates pinpoint the exact location of the legendary Holy Grail, from which the Twelve Apostles imbibed the "hooch" that had been consecrated and transubstantiated into the true blood of DALE FUCKING CROVER.
- the title Nude With Boots was inspired by the attire the melvins will wear on stage during their upcoming tour.
Buzzo's mumu is actually the Shroud of Turin with the reverse side showing.
Buzz brought AIDS here from Africa.
In his hair.
On purpose.
This reminds me of the Bill Braski skits on SNL. And I think I said that once before in another thread.
Buzz has his own cologne fragrance called "Over From Under The Excrement No. 2" It's a big seller in France.
Quote from: Joey D. on May 17, 2008, 08:06:37 PM
Buzz has his own cologne fragrance called "Over From Under The Excrement No. 2" It's a big seller in France.
also known as "od' de in le toilet".
Buzz killed Cobain after much tension in a bizarre love tringle thing with Courtney Love.
Courtney Love is actually Dale and Buzz's lovechild but they're too ashamed to admit it. This troubling fact caused Courtney to turn to hard drugs and promiscuity in a failed attempt to fill the void that was left by her unloving and neglectful parents.
The Melvin's don't actually exist its all just a government conspiracy to keep Glen happy.
Good original post, Mike. I like, and I'm now thinking of changing my middle name to "Fucking."
uncle fucking uncle danny?
Dale is allergic to peanuts.
Charmicarmicat Bastards is in fact the sound recording of the Melvins killing Kurt Cobain. When Kurt found out, he shot himself.
I can't believe I'm doing this but here goes:
the fictional band The Mosquitos from an episode of the popular and long running television program Gilligan's Island was originally scripted and cast as an early version of the Melvins featuring a young Buzz Osborne on guitar, a bespectacled Dale Crover on drums and a gentleman by the name of Krist Novaselic on bass. Unfortunately on the first day of shooting creative differences between Buzz and Krist called for the immediate dismissal of Krist and he was sent back to the mainland, bass in tow, on the first dingy off the island. producers fevorishly attempted to replace Krist with a disguised Thurston Howell III but he was unable to learn the opening riff of a new song Buzz was writing which later became Night Goat. finally a command decision was made by the televison network to keep with film scheduling and a group of unemployed actors was rushed in to play as the Mosquitos. adjustements were made to scripting on the fly and the episode went on to become a Gilligan's Island classic. Buzz and Dale were paid for their time and returned to the mainland. On the ferry over they met a young woman named Lori Black, a classicly trained bassist who was returning from a tropical vacation with her mother, a succesful and well-known actress.
the rest is history.
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c206/gshap/mosquitos.jpg)
The dude on the far left looks like a droog from A Clockwork Orange. :lol:
i didn't know lori black was indeed black! :o
MELVINS INTERVIEW.....
Lastly, what bands of the last five years are you personally into?
Buzz: Black Heart Procession, The Locust, Kill Me Tomorrow and everything Patton's ever released.
Melvins -fans with under -100 in karma on themelvins.net are directly banned from Melvins' perfomances.