obscure melvins factoids that happen to be false

[JJ]

Dale has had AIDS for 6 years.

Dale Crover ate AIDS for breakfast, shit out enough ebola to take out three mega malls, waded through the corpses for the choiciest specimens and made drum heads with the softest of the skins.....

[jaymz]

- Michael Jackson decided to abuse children after hearing Eggnog.

[cheeseburger]

- Michael Jackson decided to abuse children after hearing Eggnog.

thats fucking great!

[MIVSY]

jared is buzz's and lorax's love child

[Captain CoryCory]

This is like a Weekly World News article bute for MElvins. Hilarious. 

[linesbetweentheread]

Buzz has the latest posts from Melvins.net sent directly to his cell phone.

[FartLips]

Buzz has the latest posts from Melvins.net sent directly to his cell phone.

he doesn't have a cell phone, they go directly to his bionic eye.

[norecess]

The Melvins are gay, some of their songs are just noise.

[dead mike]

after a little more research, i came across a few more ...

- Brian Wilson claimed on several nonconsecutive occasions that the melvins stole the composition notes for the Beach Boys' unfinished magnum opus SMILE, which the melvins then re-named PRICK.

- the lyrics to "hooch" are a sophisticated anagram. when decoded and cross-referenced with the inscription above the carving of the demon Asmodeus at the Church of Mary Magdalene in Rennes-le-Chateau, France, and paired with the geometric patterns that outline the figures in michelangelo's fresco of God creating Adam in the sistine chapel, the anagram becomes algorithmic coordinates that can be plotted on a cartesian grid over the Holy Land. these coordinates pinpoint the exact location of the legendary Holy Grail, from which the Twelve Apostles imbibed the "hooch" that had been consecrated and transubstantiated into the true blood of DALE FUCKING CROVER.

- the title Nude With Boots was inspired by the attire the melvins will wear on stage during their upcoming tour.

[I am the Sun]

Buzzo's mumu is actually the Shroud of Turin with the reverse side showing.

[Chomas]

Buzz brought AIDS here from Africa.


In his hair.

On purpose.

[Idlehanz]

This reminds me of the Bill Braski skits on SNL.  And I think I said that once before in another thread.

[Mad Arab]

Buzz has his own cologne fragrance called "Over From Under The Excrement No. 2" It's a big seller in France.

[FartLips]

Buzz has his own cologne fragrance called "Over From Under The Excrement No. 2" It's a big seller in France.

also known as "od' de in le toilet".

[linesbetweentheread]

Buzz killed Cobain after much tension in a bizarre love tringle thing with Courtney Love.