Bride Screamed Murder reviews

[black stallion]

NWB and ASA had some memorable tracks and this is weak 

[Angus Khan]

NWB and ASA had some memorable tracks and this is weak 

These critics can't handle anything that's not mass hyped or fits neatly into their cool scene.  Fuck them.  Make up your own mind about an album.  If you enjoy it that's what matters.

[blewis]

NWB and ASA had some memorable tracks and this is weak 

These critics can't handle anything that's not mass hyped or fits neatly into their cool scene.  Fuck them.  Make up your own mind about an album.  If you enjoy it that's what matters.

Amen brother!

[the bloat]

Fuck Pitchfork

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14313-the-bride-screamed-murder/

[anaconda]

and yet they gave Chicken Switch a 7.8.  Derrrrrrr....

[black stallion]

http://consequenceofsound.net/2010/06/04/album-review-melvins-the-bride-screamed-murder/

Ahhh

[black stallion]

http://sputnikmusic.com/review_37187

A quick browse through any list of

[deatheats]

Fuck Pitchfork

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14313-the-bride-screamed-murder/

Let's just state a fact.  Most people, if they have heard of them, hate the Melvins.  They can't stand their sense of humour, think they are unnecessarily complicated and noisy and want them to do 3 minute pop tune verse-chorus-verse arrangements.   How dare a band make a song that changes mid way or god forbid changes twice in one song?  Don't they know they are supposed to play the same riff over and over?  Don't they also realize that covers are supposed to sound identical to the originals?   And whatever you do, don't have fun.  Every second of the album must be SERIOUS!!!!    

There's so  much going on on this album it is going to make me a while to fully digest it and its got enough turns and surprises to keep me coming back for a long while.  I think the real reason they get reviews like these is that the Melvins put out the albums they want to make not the albums critics want them to make.

Perhaps Pitchfork ought to stick with their hyperliterate folk-rock.  No alarms and no surprises please!

[ManWithNoName]

Most critics listen to an album once before writing their review, I can't think of one Melvins album that doesn require multiple listens to fully enjoy.

Also...

Perhaps Pitchfork ought to stick with their hyperliterate folk-rock.  No alarms and no surprises please!

Hyperliterate? More like pseudo-literate. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the majority of the people who write for pitchdork are douche english-lit dop outs who couldn't accept criticism. They're the same type of tards who think they're intellectuals because they've taken a few university courses who have graduated from university. Bitch, please!

[deatheats]

Most critics listen to an album once before writing their review, I can't think of one Melvins album that doesn require multiple listens to fully enjoy.

Also...

Perhaps Pitchfork ought to stick with their hyperliterate folk-rock.  No alarms and no surprises please!

Hyperliterate? More like pseudo-literate. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the majority of the people who write for pitchdork are douche english-lit dop outs who couldn't accept criticism. They're the same type of tards who think they're intellectuals because they've taken a few university courses who have graduated from university. Bitch, please!

Sorry, Hyperliterate folk-rock was a quote from one their reviews of the Decemberists.  I just couldn't resist.

[ManWithNoName]

My bad, I should have known.

[Dr.Benway]

think they're intellectuals because they've taken a few university courses 

yeah, I hate people like that

[Dubwise Ministry Juan]

Listen to all you crybaby sissy folk who are throwing hissy fits because some folk point out the obvious about the new album HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[Justafilthylurker]

This album is better than Houdini, Stoner Witch and Eggnog.

[norecess]

aQ

     Has it really been two whole years already since the last Melvins long player, the supremely rockin' Nude With Boots? They've been around so long and yet remain so vital and prolific and reliable, it always seems like they just put something out the other day, yet each release is a marvelous surprise. This is their third album since they recruited bass/drums duo Big Business into the band, and this phase of the Melvins' storied career has been a fruitful one.
     The first minute or two of the first track "The Water Glass" starts off sounding very much typically thunderous heavier than thou Melvins... but woah, hey, it then takes a MAJOR turn into, what, a rhythmic marching band drumline thing (why not, they've got two drummers), with call and response vocal chant, the Melvins as cheerleaders or drill sergeants gettin' pumped up and ready to go. We're smiling like fools, and confused, what IS this? It's somehow like the MC5 or Dictators meet the Boredoms or go-go music or, we dunno, it'd be awesome and hilarious to see this live. Wow. All right, fair warning, this is clearly the Melvins getting weird on us, something of course they've have always had a knack for. Nude With Boots had its experimental moments, as all Melvins records do, more than moments sometimes, to varying degrees of accessibility, and this one ups the ante, coming closer in WTF?-ness to their recent radical remix album Chicken Scratch... and this time in ways that we don't think we've heard from them before.
     All the while keeping it damn catchy, and HEAVY too, at least some of the time. Right on cue, track two again kicks out the jams in old school Melvins style... but a percussive breakdown isn't far away. Neither are cinematic keys, herky jerky prog parts (Ruins-esque, even, or Nomeansno-ish), quirky POP, frenzied metal, and plenty more random what the fuck weirdness, as warned. Such as a ploddingly odd, semi-abstract cover of "My Generation", ferinstance, or the lonely harmonica and hymn-like a cappella of the album's final track, "PG X 3" (and that's not even what's weird about that one). As always, they're part Kiss and The Cars, heavied up and punk rocked, and now we're realizing that Sparks just might be another big fave of theirs.
     So, go along for the ride, trust us. And them. Ok, maybe "Hospital Up" is a bit of a throw-away (random improv scatter there). But otherwise, we're sold. And maybe it's the frequent vocal holler, echoing with chorus effect, or the double drummer bombastic battery, but this album sounds particularly triumphant. As well it should. One of the best bands ever, once again deliver the goods. And it can't be easy, after, what, 30 albums??? All we know is, THE MELVINS RULE. End of story.