Tres Cabrones

[Uncle Fester]

I like how the 2nd one didn't mention nirvana or kurt cobain. Think I like that one better.

[LuckMach3]

Are we taking bets on how many professional reviews will give it a 6 or 7 out of 10?  How many times Kurt Cobain and Houdini will be mentioned?  If Pitchfork gives it a higher score than Chicken Switch? They won't

Review from NME yesterday:
http://www.nme.com/reviews/melvins/14921

Toasting 30 years of surliness this year, the line-up of Pacific Northwestern sludge-rock absurdists the Melvins has rarely been fixed: if it's founder member Buzz Osborne plus two grannies on drums, the Melvins it remains. The hook for 'Tres Cabrones' is the return of Mike Dillard, the band's drummer in their embryonic teenage days who later backed Kurt Cobain in pre-Nirvana band Fecal Matter. The initial feeling that this album is destined to be one of their many jokey, disposable ventures dissipates slightly as Osborne's near-peerless ability with a brain-alteringly great riff takes hold ('Stump Farmer' and 'Walter's Lips' excel here). Still, the Melvins have made so many better albums that it would be scandalous to recommend this one.

6/10




Review from The Skinny:
http://www.theskinny.co.uk/music/records/305939-melvins_tres_cabrones

Despite growling their way into middle age, the Melvins never really seemed the sort of band who'd bother to grow up. The snickering nastiness of their metal-soaked hardcore always felt too gloriously delinquent to age truly gracefully, and indeed album number nineteen sees them reaching back into their past. The return of founding drummer Mike Dillard sees long-term sticksman Dale Crover switching to bass ("As close as we're willing to get to the 1980s lineup," explains Buzz Osbourne helpfully), and the results are raucously wonderful.

The Black Flag rage and sludgy riffs of Dr. Mule put us in familiar territory, arching sinister smiles around tightly-gritted teeth, while Stick 'Em Up, Bitch conjures up images of Lemmy staring down the barrel of a nail gun.  Just for laffs, there's also a handful of truly terrifying campfire singalongs – old fellas they may be, but the Melvins' capacity for demented glee remains happily undimmed. [Will Fitzpatrick]

The second review didn't mention Kurt, Houdini, and gave it an 8.  I'm 1-1 until: http://www.premierguitar.com/articles/19774-album-review-melvins-tres-cabrones

Another 7/10!  I'm 2-1!


These professional reviews always suck.  The NME one was especially lazy.

[Helen83]

NME is the crappiest magazine around. Arcade Fire just released another boring ass wanky record and I bet NME creamed their pants over that lame record.

Wankers.

[LuckMach3]

NME is the crappiest magazine around. Arcade Fire just released another boring ass wanky record and I bet NME creamed their pants over that lame record.

Wankers.

They certainly seem to suck.  I'm actually fascinated by their review.

if it's founder member Buzz Osborne plus two grannies on drums, the Melvins it remains.

Are they saying Dale and Coady are grannies or are they saying if Buzz plays with two grannies it's still the Melvins?  Huh?

The initial feeling that this album is destined to be one of their many jokey, disposable ventures dissipates slightly as Osborne's near-peerless ability with a brain-alteringly great riff takes hold ('Stump Farmer' and 'Walter's Lips' excel here).

This is literally the only sentence written about the music on the album.  How many "jokey, disposbale ventures" do they have?  Why will this one considered one of them?  What do they mean by "Osborne's near-peerless ability"?

Still, the Melvins have made so many better albums that it would be scandalous to recommend this one.

Their other albums are better so this one has absolutely zero redeeming qualities?  You can actually get paid money to write for NME based on your initial feelings and quoting wikipedia?

[bUTTHOLEmAN]

NME deleted that review.   

[Dumpster D]

I could write a better Review with my Asshole. 

[LuckMach3]

NME deleted that review.   

Did they?  It's still up for me when I click the link.

[(PAUL)]

I could write a better Review with my Asshole. 

Fitting, since NME is full of assholes. HEYO!

[bUTTHOLEmAN]

It's back up.

[Dumpster D]

as if by some form of asshole magic as it were.

[Helen83]

www.juno.co.uk has the CD in and for sale. Their orders ALWAYS without fail arrive the next day. Obviously that's for UK buyers.

[Post_No_Bills]

Hey,

Just wanted to drop a line because there's a new review of Tres Cabrones up now on Ground Control. I didn't see a heading anywhere for discussion about the album, sorry if I missed it. Anyway, you can check the review out here, if you're interested:

http://groundcontrolmag.com/detail/3/3578/

Awesome album!

[homeless_dad]

NME is the crappiest magazine around. Arcade Fire just released another boring ass wanky record and I bet NME creamed their pants over that lame record.

Wankers.

My brother did.  I just don't understand why people like bad music.

As Buzz often says: "the world is not a right place". 

[Captain CoryCory]

The NME review is down on my end, as it probably should be. Hipster "wit" and thesaurus thumbings =/= quality reviewing or conveyance.

I'm not just saying that because they're pretty much shiting on the Melvins, but I really hate to read any review that doesn't describe the album or tell the story needed to sell you on it. I'm reading this and thinking "What the fuck is this guy talking about?"...

A lot of reviewers (Decibel and Pitchfork to some degree, NME, Kerrang! and most "zines" are horribly guilty) tend to do this nowadays.

[acid policy]

music reviews suck most of the time. the system doesn't work. 50 years ago when records and rock had just been invented it didn't matter, but now it's time someone figures out how to make music reviews not be mainly drivel. for example, there shouldn't be just a few reviewers to review everything, as any given dude is only going to be good at reviewing a small fraction of music that is out there. they need user submitted reviews that get voted up or something. anyone listening out there? someone make this happen. or pay me to do it.