themelvins.net bbs

MELVINS => Melvins Discussion => Topic started by: Pringles on April 14, 2005, 06:24:20 PM

Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Pringles on April 14, 2005, 06:24:20 PM
- Dale Crover won a Quake3 tournament at QuakeCon even though he was playing Counter-Strike.

- Dale Crover drove the van that crippled Stephen King.

-The first rule of Dale Crover is you do not talk about Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Dale Crover then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist.

- Dale Crover 1949 paper on quantam mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.

- Dale Crover invented consequences.

- The Sears Tower contains enough Dale Crover to build 3 four-lane highways, and two porno shops.

- Dale Crover is simultaneously the Fifth Beatle, Dimension and Element.

- Dale Crover is both the architect of, and banned by the Geneva
Convention.

- Dale Crover invented Google to keep track of his enormous gay porn collection.

-Scientists recently added Dale Crover to the periodic table of the elements. Dale Crover has the atomic number 125 and an atomic mass of Melvins.

- Dale Crover can solve a Rubik's Cube between his pecs, but he has been accused of cheating by peeling off the stickers.

- Dale Crover is so manly he had a sex change and still remained a man.

- Dale Crover invented the Drunken Master style and inspired the character of Mrs Wong after he faked a pregnancy to escape torture during the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

- Dale Crover was constructed out of seventeen cordless electrical drills, fourteen miles of silver duct tape and a dead rabbit.

- Ray Charles once looked at Dale Crover playing drum...and never saw another thing again.

- Dale Crover is the only person alive who can understand R2-D2. They have conversations daily.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Grungeisdead on April 14, 2005, 07:19:27 PM
-Do you know about Dale Crover?
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Vcavallo on April 14, 2005, 07:47:05 PM
i can solve a rubik's cube.  not between my pecks, though...
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: DubEMC on April 14, 2005, 08:01:19 PM
Dale Crover is your future, if you have one!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: punch_the_lion on April 14, 2005, 08:48:58 PM
Quote from: Pringles-

- Dale Crover drove the van that crippled Stephen King.


He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Ron Maiden on April 14, 2005, 08:50:08 PM
Dale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Grungeisdead on April 14, 2005, 09:17:33 PM
Quote from: punch_the_lion

He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.

thats what you get for reading.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Pringles on April 14, 2005, 09:51:46 PM
You want more?

- Dale Crover can reverse any combustion reaction by giving it the finger.

- Dale Crover once gave a woman an orgasm so intense with is kick-drum that she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk.

- Dale Crover likes the taste of cock. He says it reminds him of Vietnam.

- Dale Crover killed a hooker one winter, disemboweled her, and lived inside her evicerated body for 3 months until spring.

- Dale Crover killed a member of PETA to grow more of them in his garden.

- Dale Crover wrote the pilot episode for "The Weather Channel."

- The prophet Mohamed is a blood ancestor of Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover created Led Zepplin as a running bet.

- The sinking of Atlantis was actually caused by Dale Crover sobbing over his favorite character's death in Beverly Hill 90210. He would have raised it again, but Melrose Place came on.

- Dale Crover is solely responsible for the band Immortal. He is every member at the same time.

- Dale Crover is responsible for the musical careers of the Beatles, the Ramones, Run DMC, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Pink Floyd. Nirvana's success can be attributed to archrival Dave Ghrol, while the Doors are purely machines, bred of Satan and fed with only the purest virgin blood.

- Dale Crover originally made the cinematic masterpiece 'The Wizard of Oz' all by himself, playing every single character. But right before it was released the Screen Actors Guild called foul play and it was re-shot starring Judy Garland. Dale later had a brief affair with Toto. Dale broke it off because of Toto's drinking problem.


- Dale Crover is responsible for the clanging drums in St. Anger. He called Lars Ulrich a pussy and made him cry.



- When Dale Crover bang on his Bass-drum, everyone around him gets drunk.

- The main theme of the first movement of Beethoven's fifth symphony was inspired by Dale Crover lightly tapping his fingers on the table in Beethoven's living room.

- The only language Dale Crover can not speak is English. All his voice work is over dubbed by James Earl Jones, but heavily modified by software to be unrecognizable.

- Buzz Osbourne is made from pure Dale Crover whool.

- Russian scientists have been trying to create a Dale Crover clone with poor results. The best they could come up with was a daltonic Jean-Claude Van Damme clone who can
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Hog log on April 15, 2005, 07:35:58 AM
*shakes head in disbelief*
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: TosT on April 15, 2005, 09:36:23 AM
Quote from: Grungeisdead
Quote from: punch_the_lion

He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.

thats what you get for reading.

ho ho ho
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: punch_the_lion on April 15, 2005, 10:50:18 AM
Quote from: armofinfantDale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.


Is that Linda Hunt in your photograph with you on bottom?

(http://www.nndb.com/people/671/000024599/linda-hunt-3-sized.jpg)

You know, the only dwarf hermaphrodite to win an Oscar.  The Year of Living Dangerously, if I remember.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Hog log on April 16, 2005, 03:47:59 AM
Quote from: DubEMCDale Crover is your future, if you have one!

I have the feeling he shall be the next pope ...
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Kurva on April 16, 2005, 04:50:21 AM
Quote from: punch_the_lion
Quote from: armofinfantDale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.


Is that Linda Hunt in your photograph with you on bottom?

(http://www.nndb.com/people/671/000024599/linda-hunt-3-sized.jpg)

You know, the only dwarf hermaphrodite to win an Oscar.  The Year of Living Dangerously, if I remember.

dwarf hermaphrodite???!
:shock:

NP: Lotus Eaters - Zawinul
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Ron Maiden on April 16, 2005, 06:59:53 AM
no, its the only dwarf to sing for Black Sabbath.

Ronnie James Dio

whom also sang for a band called Elf, his first band
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: turnacus on April 16, 2005, 01:15:11 PM
Dale Crover's perpetual motion machine has been helping young degree seekers get their lives back on track since 1980


Dale Crover was at the grassy knoll in Dallas, 1963. He didn't shoot kennedy though, he was just trying to encase him in carbonite. After all, JFK's no good to him dead.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Pringles on April 17, 2005, 01:36:03 PM
Dale Crover is responsible for the rise and fall of every great civilization.

Dale Crover crossed the Delaware with Washington.

On The Seventh Day, God had Dale Crover over and they invented the beer bong. This led to the untimely death of the dinosaurs.

Dale Crover controls all air traffic via an old SNES Advantage controller.

The Sears Tower contains enough Dale Crover to build 3four-lane highways, and two porno shops.

Dale Crover once broke the sound barrier while flipping an omelets.

Dale Crover rejoins seperated siamese twins with his bare hands for his own ammusement.

Dale Crover once crapped out a full-scale model of the Titanic.

God refuses to give Dale Crover a soul until Crover gives back God's underwear.
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: ___-----_____------_____ on April 21, 2005, 01:35:17 PM
this reminds me of

"WHY DID THE CHICKEN cross the road?"
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: meanclown on April 21, 2005, 04:02:20 PM
sorry, i just can't resist...brilliant posts those...too freakin clever.....i am not worthy..but i'll wing a few for a laugh...

dale crover is as dale crover does

dale crover thinks lou reed sucks, but loves the guess who

dale crover rented the Black Lodge for a tupperware party

dale crover is anti-matter

we are all figments of dale crover's imagination

dale crover's Martian name is Revorc Elad

dale crover bakes a mean short bread cookie

dale crover is a state of consciousness

dale crover's drum solos were accidently erased from the watergate tapes

Liberace was actually an android  invented  by dale crover

dale crover takes boiling magma with his morning coffee

dale crover has seven toes on each foot, and a dew claw to boot!

headcheese is made up of 70% dale crover, 20% water, 10% gelatin

God got the idea for thunder from hearing dale crover play the drums!

peace-out
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: meanclown on April 21, 2005, 04:08:10 PM
oh yeah....and soylent green is dale crover!
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Hog log on April 21, 2005, 04:54:37 PM
dales breathes ...
and he accidentally played drums in some melvins albums
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Voltzy on April 22, 2005, 03:06:54 AM
- In its entire lifetime the average worker bee produces 1/12th teaspoon of dale crover

- The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "dalecrover"

- All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on dale crover

- A dale crover is 44 inches long if straightened

- dale crover's urine glows under a blacklight

- dale crover was born in a ladies' room during a dance

- The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of crover

- dale crover has 32 muscles in each ear

- dale crover did the voice of E.T

- dale crover has 119 grooves around the edge
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Voltzy on April 22, 2005, 05:11:17 AM
forgot this one:

- Dale crover lost his right leg in veitnam, instead of a prosthetic one he ordered docters to implant a knee into his giant penis and know he walk on that, thats why he sounds so good because he's making love to the drum set
Title: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Hog log on April 22, 2005, 09:58:25 AM
this thread finally lost its sense of fun
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on January 29, 2007, 10:25:11 AM
Back from the depths!
I had this thread bookmarked on an old computer and just found it. 

Quote from: Pringles on April 14, 2005, 06:24:20 PM
- Dale Crover won a Quake3 tournament at QuakeCon even though he was playing Counter-Strike.

- Dale Crover drove the van that crippled Stephen King.

-The first rule of Dale Crover is you do not talk about Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Dale Crover then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist.

- Dale Crover 1949 paper on quantam mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.

- Dale Crover invented consequences.

- The Sears Tower contains enough Dale Crover to build 3 four-lane highways, and two porno shops.

- Dale Crover is simultaneously the Fifth Beatle, Dimension and Element.

- Dale Crover is both the architect of, and banned by the Geneva
Convention.

- Dale Crover invented Google to keep track of his enormous gay porn collection.

-Scientists recently added Dale Crover to the periodic table of the elements. Dale Crover has the atomic number 125 and an atomic mass of Melvins.

- Dale Crover can solve a Rubik's Cube between his pecs, but he has been accused of cheating by peeling off the stickers.

- Dale Crover is so manly he had a sex change and still remained a man.

- Dale Crover invented the Drunken Master style and inspired the character of Mrs Wong after he faked a pregnancy to escape torture during the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

- Dale Crover was constructed out of seventeen cordless electrical drills, fourteen miles of silver duct tape and a dead rabbit.

- Ray Charles once looked at Dale Crover playing drum...and never saw another thing again.

- Dale Crover is the only person alive who can understand R2-D2. They have conversations daily.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on January 29, 2007, 10:38:58 AM
Quote from: Hog log on April 22, 2005, 09:58:25 AM
this thread finally lost its sense of fun

no shit.    they had me going though.  right up until the part about dale being the voice of ET. thats when it got a little far-fetched.  :shock:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on January 29, 2007, 10:46:55 AM
No Dale Crover can be folded over on itself more than 7 times
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Vcavallo on January 29, 2007, 11:00:06 AM
dale crover is the only thing that can be folded over on itself more than seven times.....


i want to know how many of these are ripped straight from the chuck norris jokes..
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: stonerwitch on January 29, 2007, 06:48:10 PM
As a child Dale Crover was the only unknown survivor to dig himself out of a grave under John Wayne Gacy's house and escape.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: bUTTHOLEmAN on January 29, 2007, 06:51:29 PM
Dale Crover once had a dream about eating a midget and when he woke up his pillow was GONE!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: M i C H e L L e on January 29, 2007, 09:00:47 PM
This was a fine thread to bring back to life, Mr. Shackleford!    :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: TGH on January 29, 2007, 10:07:13 PM
2+2=Dale Crover
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Dead Cowboy on January 29, 2007, 10:23:26 PM
Dale crover once ate a 50 ounce steak in 13 minutes.




The first twelve were spent having sex with the waitress.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Vcavallo on January 29, 2007, 10:46:44 PM
manatees are really just giant grey animated logs of dale crover's excrement
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: FartLips on January 30, 2007, 12:03:40 AM
dale crover only does interviews that get released.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Idlehanz on January 30, 2007, 05:21:48 AM
This thread reminds me of the Bill Braski skits on SNL.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on January 30, 2007, 06:53:16 AM
do I hear 'the original 5th beatle"?      anyone?
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Pringles on January 30, 2007, 06:55:18 AM
Dale Crover doesnt know how to play drum. He just clap in his hands.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Metalhead Cow on February 02, 2007, 12:57:53 PM
Quote from: Cool Hand Luke on April 22, 2005, 03:06:54 AM


- The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "dalecrover"


I love this one. :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Idlehanz on February 27, 2007, 07:54:14 PM
Dale Crover is a very thoughtless and cheery chipmunk.

googlism finds some weird shit
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Shatz on August 09, 2011, 04:13:23 PM
Dale Crover's second born will carry the reincarnation of Muhammad Ali, and together they rule the galaxy as father and son.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Braykfast on August 09, 2011, 08:15:15 PM
The only thing in the world that can defeat Dale Crover, is another Dale Crover, but that's not Dale Crover enough to happen, so a third Dale Crover will destroy them both to attain "Dale Crover", a title knights aspire to.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on August 09, 2011, 10:01:32 PM
Dale Crover produces more than 20% of the world's oxygen supply.

Whoopi Goldberg's real name is Dale Crover.

On average, a disposable diaper can hold up to 7 pounds of Dale Crover.

When you walk down a steep hill, the pressure on your knees is equal to three times Dale Crover's body weight.

In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own Dale Crover.

Jackie Kennedy Onassis was secretly Dale Crover.

Dale Crover's penis is shaped like a corkscrew.

Each year, over one million people in the United States alone are bitten by Dale Crover.

Dale Crover's sweat is so deadly that just one gram of it can kill 150 people.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: >>>JZS<<< on August 10, 2011, 12:09:56 AM

When hunting, Dale Crover simply points one drum stick at the animal and it kills & taxidermys itself.

Dale Crover drinks motor oil so his balls won't rust.

Dale Crover passes the dutchie on the right hand side.

Dale Crover drives a Gremlin station wagon hybrid.

Dale Crover was asking Princess Diana if she had any Grey Poupon just before her limo crashed.










Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on August 10, 2011, 12:10:30 AM
In the Eskimo language, there are over 40 words for Dale Crover, and no words for 'drum'.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on August 10, 2011, 12:15:11 AM
Quote from: >>>JZS<<< on August 10, 2011, 12:09:56 AM
Dale Crover passes the dutchie on the right hand side.

=D&gt;
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on August 10, 2011, 08:57:32 AM
Dale Crover never had body hair

Dale Crover's sweat tastes like beer

Dale Crover uses tama drumsticks to eat food

Dale Crover ate a gong once
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: blake7 on August 10, 2011, 12:47:42 PM
Dale Crover invented breathing.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Mount Ambulance on August 10, 2011, 01:38:53 PM
That God dude is only a step parent ... Dale Crover is Jesus' real Dad. And hence, the only real God.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:01:11 PM
In the beginning God created the Drum Stool and the Drum. And the Drum was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the Skin of the Snare. And the Spirit of God moved on the entirity of the Kit. And God said, Let there be Cymbals: and there were Cymbals.  And God saw the Cymbals, that they were good: and God divided the Cymbals from the Drums. And God called the light Floor Tom, and the darkness he called Kick Bass. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And God said, Let us make Crover in our image, after our likeness: and let Crover have dominion over the Drums, and over the Cymbals, and over the other drummers, and over all the earth, and over every drumming thing that drummeth on the earth. So God created Crover in his own image, in the image of God created he him; drummer and percussionist created he him. And God blessed him, and God said to him, Be brutal, and paradiddle, and amaze the crowd, and subdue it: and have dominion over the rock bands, and over the punk bands, and over every living band that plays on the earth.

And God then rested, for He was truly knackered.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (((O))) on August 10, 2011, 02:15:13 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:01:11 PM
paradiddle.
Back in the day i played drums a bit yet i still dont really know what a paradiddle is.  :? :? Im self taught by the way.  :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:20:09 PM
Quote from: )))((( on August 10, 2011, 02:15:13 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:01:11 PM
paradiddle.
Back in the day i played drums a bit yet i still dont really know what a paradiddle is.  :? :? Im self taught by the way.  :lol:
Drum Rudiments #16 - Single Paradiddle - DrumRudiments.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dst0AdVB21Q#)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (((O))) on August 10, 2011, 02:24:54 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:20:09 PM
Quote from: )))((( on August 10, 2011, 02:15:13 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:01:11 PM
paradiddle.
Back in the day i played drums a bit yet i still dont really know what a paradiddle is.  :? :? Im self taught by the way.  :lol:
Drum Rudiments #16 - Single Paradiddle - DrumRudiments.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dst0AdVB21Q#)
That's quick and kinda tricky also certainly beyond my abilities. Oh hum i suck.  :(
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:26:57 PM
Quote from: )))((( on August 10, 2011, 02:24:54 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:20:09 PM
Quote from: )))((( on August 10, 2011, 02:15:13 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 02:01:11 PM
paradiddle.
Back in the day i played drums a bit yet i still dont really know what a paradiddle is.  :? :? Im self taught by the way.  :lol:
Drum Rudiments #16 - Single Paradiddle - DrumRudiments.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dst0AdVB21Q#)
That's quick and kinda tricky also certainly beyond my abilities. Oh hum i suck.  :(
Me too. Anything quirkier than 2/2 or 4/4 is tiresome for me.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Mount Ambulance on August 10, 2011, 02:42:19 PM
You are just a figment of Dale Crover's imagination ... thou we all are.

Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (((O))) on August 10, 2011, 04:08:48 PM
In ancient times civilisations thought the Earth was flat because Dale Crover hadn't landscaped it yet.


Time fears Dale Crover.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: BaronVonLipshitz on August 10, 2011, 06:01:01 PM
Dale Crover will throw your ass out of the bar if you cannot hold your beer nicely.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Mount Ambulance on August 10, 2011, 07:29:18 PM
Dale Crover busted your Mom's cherry ... and your Dad's nose!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 19, 2011, 04:46:28 AM
Dale Crover has a battery in his belly that can be charged like a mobile phone battery
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 19, 2011, 05:32:48 AM
Quote from: )))((( on October 19, 2011, 05:14:03 AM
Quote from: black stallion on October 19, 2011, 04:46:28 AM
Dale Crover has a battery in his belly that can be charged like a mobile phone battery
But lasts infinitely longer!

yep! Buzzo knows when it's time to put him on charge
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (((O))) on October 19, 2011, 06:07:50 AM
Quote from: black stallion on October 19, 2011, 05:32:48 AM
Quote from: )))((( on October 19, 2011, 05:14:03 AM
Quote from: black stallion on October 19, 2011, 04:46:28 AM
Dale Crover has a battery in his belly that can be charged like a mobile phone battery
But lasts infinitely longer!

yep! Buzzo knows when it's time to put him on charge
He has to be careful tho cos recharging Dale tends to drain a countries electricity supply for at least 72 hours.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on October 19, 2011, 01:30:10 PM
Quote from: jules on August 10, 2011, 12:10:30 AM
In the Eskimo language, there are over 40 words for Dale Crover, and no words for 'drum'.


=D&gt;


Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 20, 2011, 08:32:55 AM
Metallica's drummer Lars Urlich did a massive steroids abuse to get as good as Crover playing drums.the only result was he got bald though
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 21, 2011, 03:13:01 PM
DaleCrover is the reason that Chuck Berry never played drums

DaleCrover was the only song that Wesley Willis ever wrote

Every beat that our hearts ever beat has been replicated by DaleCrover at one time or another

Buddist truth: We are all one and that one is DaleCrover

DaleCrover never misses the toilet, the toilet misses him

They used DaleCrover's pubic hair to build Burt Reynold's Mustache

Tom Selek bought the leftovers on Ebay for the cost of his artistic integrity

DaleCrover put the BOP in the bopshebopshebop DaleCrover put the RAM in the Ramalammadingdang

DaleCrover x 3 - (654/8) + y2     still=DaleCrover

DaleCrover writes boxing colums under the pen name Jim Bagg (just read one you'll get it)

King Buzzo got a gold tooth so that DaleCrover could see his own reflection









Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 21, 2011, 04:16:23 PM
Quote from: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 21, 2011, 03:13:01 PM


Every beat that our hearts ever beat has been replicated by DaleCrover at one time or another



love this one
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 21, 2011, 06:49:38 PM
When DaleCrover shits..people listen

Only DaleCrover can prevent forrest fires

DaleCrover puts the goodtimes in Richiegoodtimes


Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: FartLips on October 22, 2011, 12:58:31 AM
Quote from: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 21, 2011, 03:13:01 PM
King Buzzo got a gold tooth so that DaleCrover could see his own reflection
that's awesome! :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on October 22, 2011, 03:55:53 AM
I liked that one too

and mine: all mass is regulated by Dale Crover
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: laughingwlucifer65 on October 26, 2011, 09:13:02 PM
what is 'dale crover' ??????????/??
when is 'dale crover' ??/??????????
why is 'dale crover'   ??????????/??
how is 'DALE CROVER'??/?????????
where is big chief boo-hoo

now a random fact:

Dale crover is the percussionist for a Grunge band: 'The Melvins'
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Captain CoryCory on October 26, 2011, 10:34:39 PM
- Dale Crover was auditioned for Man Vs. Wild but rejected the offer on account he didn't need to drink his own piss or do jumping-jacks naked to survive in the wild for a week.

- Dale Crover always gives sage advice such as: No Gardening Glove, no Love

- Scott Columbus didn't die of natural causes. Dale Crover killed him as revenge for all the drumkits that guy broke over the years.

- Dale Crover's six-pack is nicely enclosed in a growler.

- Herb is the Navajo version of Dale Crover.

- Jay Lane is the Mick Foley look-alike version of Dale Crover.

- Animal is the muppet bastard child of Buzzo and Dale Crover. And they say Melvins is gay.

- Bill Ward is like what would happen if Dale Crover was a drunk with a face mashed by a pressing iron.

- Yoshida Tatsuya is the japanese expressionless nerd version of Dale Crover. Bass player issues also applicable.

- Lars Ulrich may have millions of dollars but money doesn't buy talent. Or Dale Crovers.

- John Bonham drank himself to death in fear of Dale Crover.

- Iron Maiden could only be blessed to be covered by Dale Crover. In an Iron Maiden. Of drums.

- Y'know those shitty boombox demos on the Nevermind box? They'd sound better if Dale Crover was on them. Any instrument of choice. Even vocals.

- The Most Interesting Man in the World gets parched just thinking of Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover isn't afraid to say "FUCK CHUCK" or "I PITY MR.T".
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Jaron on October 26, 2011, 10:52:06 PM
Like an alligator he can digest a whole turtle shell.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: melviny goodness on October 27, 2011, 12:39:13 AM
dale crover can eat mcdonald's for a month straight and never get sick.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 27, 2011, 06:06:01 AM
Dale has a gong in every room of his house,bathroom too
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on October 27, 2011, 12:11:53 PM
Quote from: melviny goodness on October 27, 2011, 12:39:13 AM
dale crover can eat mcdonald's for a month straight and never get sick.

based on the appearance of his waistline I do not question this statement.

(wow, that was cold!)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: rictus on October 27, 2011, 12:15:22 PM
Quote from: glen on October 27, 2011, 12:11:53 PM
Quote from: melviny goodness on October 27, 2011, 12:39:13 AM
dale crover can eat mcdonald's for a month straight and never get sick.

based on the appearance of his waistline I do not question this statement.

(wow, that was cold!)

And after he was nice enough to wear your shirt in those pics.  [-(
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on October 27, 2011, 12:16:40 PM
aw, thanks alot.  now I feel like a real dick.

PS: its a good thing I picked out the XL.  8)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 27, 2011, 12:17:38 PM
Quote from: black stallion on October 27, 2011, 06:06:01 AM
Dale has a gong in every room of his house,bathroom too

When DaleCrover shits..people listen
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Afterbirthmilkshake on October 27, 2011, 12:26:20 PM
DaleCrover dosen't always start earthquakes, but when he does he wears goucho brand gardening gloves.   

"these gloves are great, they smell just like my underwear" ~DaleCrover







  r  e   y  r   v   r   
c  e  p   c  o   e
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on October 27, 2011, 12:43:19 PM
Dale Crover is the only thing in existence that weighs the same on the moon as it does on the Earth.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: rictus on October 27, 2011, 01:31:26 PM
Quote from: glen on October 27, 2011, 12:16:40 PM
PS: its a good thing I picked out the XL.  8)

:lol:

You just can't help yourself, can you?
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on October 27, 2011, 05:59:48 PM
somebody needs to shop Dale onto "the most interesting man in the world"  dude


make it happen people
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Captain CoryCory on October 27, 2011, 10:29:44 PM
Broken Tama drums are spinach to Dale Crover.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: melviny goodness on October 28, 2011, 01:48:19 AM
dale crover puts his gloves on two hands at a time.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on October 28, 2011, 07:42:55 AM
Dale Crover has NEVER put ketchup on a hotdog, only mustard. And rightly so.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on October 28, 2011, 08:09:31 AM
Quote from: anaconda on October 28, 2011, 07:42:55 AM
Dale Crover has NEVER put ketchup on a hotdog, only mustard. And rightly so.

I knew there was something special about that man.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: rictus on October 28, 2011, 09:06:52 AM
I'm guessing glen didn't see that dildo post.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Captain CoryCory on October 28, 2011, 09:54:56 AM
Quote from: melviny goodness on October 28, 2011, 01:48:19 AM
dale crover puts his gloves on two hands at a time.

He also puts his pants on three legs at a time.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: glen on October 28, 2011, 10:04:31 AM
Quote from: (the) rictus on October 28, 2011, 09:06:52 AM
I'm guessing glen didn't see that dildo post.

nor do I have any intention of investigating it's history
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on October 28, 2011, 10:46:05 AM
Quote from: Rusty Shackleford on October 27, 2011, 05:59:48 PM
somebody needs to shop Dale onto "the most interesting man in the world"  dude




=; done yet
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on October 28, 2011, 03:51:35 PM
it's a good idea 

Dale/most interesting dude

get it done

Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Metalhead Cow on February 01, 2013, 10:22:17 PM
This thread deserves a bump.  :-"
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Hot Pants on February 19, 2013, 05:56:59 AM
Quote from: Metalhead Cow on February 01, 2013, 10:22:17 PM
This thread deserves a bump.  :-"

thanks :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Dumpster D on February 19, 2013, 11:50:52 PM
You disgrace me.  :facepalm:

Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on February 20, 2013, 02:38:52 AM
Dale Crover invented underpants.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Peebot on February 20, 2013, 04:44:36 PM
Funny thing is, Jules, that one's actually true. 
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (the) Razor on February 22, 2013, 04:22:59 AM
People keep saying Dale Crover is God. ... God's OK, but he's no Dale Crover.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Schnabster on February 22, 2013, 05:52:31 AM
Dale Crover can rip a man in to, with his bare arms! When Dale really gets angry, he can destroy trailers and double decker buses.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: homeless_dad on February 23, 2013, 10:42:21 AM
Dale learned how to cry and how to fake he's sorry.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Metalhead Cow on February 23, 2013, 11:33:30 AM
Quote from: homeless_dad on February 23, 2013, 10:42:21 AM
Dale learned how to cry and how to fake he's sorry.

Nice  8)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Schnabster on February 24, 2013, 02:18:03 AM
Dale doesn't inhale.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Dumpster D on February 24, 2013, 03:04:36 AM
Clearly Acid King got the inspiration for their band name from you know who.



p.s.

Like Stee

moanin Ludlow.

Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on February 24, 2013, 05:21:44 AM
Quote from: Dumpster D on February 24, 2013, 03:04:36 AM
Clearly Acid King got the inspiration for their band name from you know who.





now tell me more dumpy  :excited:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Dumpster D on February 25, 2013, 02:59:58 AM
Dale Can Travel through time at will, And single handedly Won the Civil War.

and came back to make an Album about it!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Dumpster D on March 28, 2013, 01:19:26 AM
All Drumskins eternally Fear the wrath of Creepy-0
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on March 28, 2013, 03:38:54 PM
Crover was the modern name for the greatest hero of Washington mythology -- Daleilisius. Like most authentic heroes, Crover had a god as one of his parents, being the son of the supreme deity Buzz and a mortal woman. Buzz's queen Lori was jealous of Crover, and when he was still an infant she sent two snakes to kill him in his crib. Crover was found prattling delighted baby talk, a strangled serpent in each hand.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: deatheats on March 28, 2013, 06:48:01 PM
Nice one Jules!

Those poor strangled snakes are destined to be beaten against drums for all eternity for their attempt on Dale's life.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: homeless_dad on March 28, 2013, 07:38:35 PM
Quote from: deatheats on March 28, 2013, 06:48:01 PM
Nice one Jules!

Those poor strangled snakes are destined to be beaten against drums for all eternity for their attempt on Dale's life.
Oh, to be one of those serpents, if only, but for a moment...to have been in the grasp of greatness!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: GrimReaper on November 25, 2013, 06:32:40 AM
Sloop-of-War named after Dale:

(http://www.blackpast.org/files/blackpast_images/USS_Dale.jpg)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on November 25, 2013, 08:51:12 AM
According to this, Dale is 18th in the list of Famous People Named Dale:

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/names/dale.html (http://www.famousbirthdays.com/names/dale.html)
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: buddy holiday on November 25, 2013, 09:18:40 AM
Quote from: jules on November 25, 2013, 08:51:12 AM
According to this, Dale is 18th in the list of Famous People Named Dale:

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/names/dale.html (http://www.famousbirthdays.com/names/dale.html)

very well researched!  :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on November 25, 2013, 10:08:33 AM
Why not first?
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: rictus on November 25, 2013, 10:15:50 AM
Quote from: black stallion on November 25, 2013, 10:08:33 AM
Why not first?

Because he's not a NASCAR driver..........yet.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Schnabster on November 25, 2013, 02:46:02 PM
Quote from: jules on March 28, 2013, 03:38:54 PM
Crover was the modern name for the greatest hero of Washington mythology -- Daleilisius. Like most authentic heroes, Crover had a god as one of his parents, being the son of the supreme deity Buzz and a mortal woman. Buzz's queen Lori was jealous of Crover, and when he was still an infant she sent two snakes to kill him in his crib. Crover was found prattling delighted baby talk, a strangled serpent in each hand.

:lol:

Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: 119 on December 14, 2013, 10:32:08 AM
The proper term for Decibels are Crovers.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on December 15, 2013, 12:40:00 PM
i like it ^
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: anaconda on December 15, 2013, 02:43:25 PM
Dalecibels
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Braykfast on December 18, 2013, 08:15:19 PM
His last name is pronounced Crawford.  :shock:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on March 31, 2016, 05:51:49 PM
Someone get Black Stallion some tissues, there's an imminent 8.9 on the Fapter Scale in Italy:

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-greatest-drummers-of-all-time-20160331/dale-crover-20160329
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: FartLips on March 31, 2016, 10:01:01 PM
Quote from: jules on March 31, 2016, 05:51:49 PM
Someone get Black Stallion some tissues, there's an imminent 8.9 on the Fapter Scale in Italy:

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-greatest-drummers-of-all-time-20160331/dale-crover-20160329
someones been hanging out with dc. :P
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: (the) Razor on April 01, 2016, 02:40:05 AM
 art-sludge? wtf?
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: deatheats on April 01, 2016, 11:18:25 AM
Now Dale Crover was a mighty man, yes sir. He went to work as a beat-keeper for an Iron Maiden cover band, don't ya know. And Dale Crover was the strongest, the most powerful man working the skins.

Dale Crover, he would spend his day's digging holes by pounding his sticks on the bed rock with his faithful drum kit by his side, all the while keeping the beat after each mighty blow. There was no one who could match him, though many tried.  This did not go unnoticed, no sir, a man named Buzz approached Dale and made him an offer he couldn't refuse.  "Come drum along side me, and we will conquer the world!", said the man with the giant hair.

Well, the band was moving along right quick, thanks in no little part to the mighty Dale Crover. But looming right smack in its path was a mighty challenge - Big as a Mountain, the 1986 tour. Now the big bosses in the record industry decided that they couldn't go around signing bands willy-nilly with no full length albums. No sir, the men of the Melvins were going to have to prove themselves - touring right into the heart of the country.

A thousand men would lose their hearing before the not so great tour was over. It took three long years from the beginning for Buzz and Dale to release their first full length, and before it was done the ground outside of Montesano was filled with makeshift, sandy graves of bands who had fallen to the wayside. The old venues were filled with smoke and dust. Ya couldn't see no-how and could hardly breathe. But Dale Crover, he worked tirelessly, pounding with two 14-pound drum sticks, and doing 10 to 12 gigs in one workday. No one else could match him.

Then one day a salesman came up to the band. He had an electric-powered drum machine and claimed it could out-drum any man. Well, they set up a contest then and there between Dale Crover and that there drum machine. The salesman ran that newfangled drum-machine. Dale Crover, he just pulled out two 20-pound sticks, one in each hand. They drummed and drummed, dust rising everywhere. The men were howling and cheering. At the end of 135 minutes, Dale Crover had pounded two hundred and  seventy thousand beats, while the drum-machine had only produced 90,000.

Dale Crover held up his sticks in triumph! The men shouted and cheered. The noise was so loud, it took a moment for the men to realize that Dale Crover was tottering. Exhausted, the mighty man crashed to the ground, the sticks's rolling from his grasp. The crowd went silent as a bouncer rushed to his side. Though it appeared to be the end for Dale, a young man came along named Coady and offered Dale a hand (even though it wasn't needed) and they proceeded to produce a racket unheard before by modern men.

Some folks say that Dale Crover's likeness is carved right into the rock n' roll of future generations. And if you walk to the edge of the stage, sometimes you can hear the sound of two 20-pound sticks drumming their way to victory over the machine.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: meezer on April 02, 2016, 07:22:14 AM
 =D&gt;
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on April 02, 2016, 10:23:25 AM
Quote from: jules on March 31, 2016, 05:51:49 PM
Someone get Black Stallion some tissues, there's an imminent 8.9 on the Fapter Scale in Italy:

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-greatest-drummers-of-all-time-20160331/dale-crover-20160329

:shock: :lol:
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on November 03, 2021, 02:37:25 PM
Dale plays drums on Nocturnal Habits' Dog Meets Wolf, and it's produced by David Scott Stone and recorded by Toshi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAV9LSgAtZk
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: moose on November 03, 2021, 02:56:37 PM
This is a really good album too!
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: jules on November 04, 2021, 09:10:50 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SncR2yEgMA
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: Shatz on December 12, 2021, 12:30:55 AM
Quote from: moose on November 03, 2021, 02:56:37 PM
This is a really good album too!
As much as I liked Unwound, this album deserves far more praise. It has a special atmosphere/flavour I love to return to, and great songwriting on top. Too bad it still remains a one-off.
Title: Re: Random fact about Dale Crover
Post by: black stallion on December 12, 2021, 04:28:03 AM
Quote from: jules on November 04, 2021, 09:10:50 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SncR2yEgMA

noisy  8)