Random fact about Dale Crover

[Pringles]

- Dale Crover won a Quake3 tournament at QuakeCon even though he was playing Counter-Strike.

- Dale Crover drove the van that crippled Stephen King.

-The first rule of Dale Crover is you do not talk about Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Dale Crover then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist.

- Dale Crover 1949 paper on quantam mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.

- Dale Crover invented consequences.

- The Sears Tower contains enough Dale Crover to build 3 four-lane highways, and two porno shops.

- Dale Crover is simultaneously the Fifth Beatle, Dimension and Element.

- Dale Crover is both the architect of, and banned by the Geneva
Convention.

- Dale Crover invented Google to keep track of his enormous gay porn collection.

-Scientists recently added Dale Crover to the periodic table of the elements. Dale Crover has the atomic number 125 and an atomic mass of Melvins.

- Dale Crover can solve a Rubik's Cube between his pecs, but he has been accused of cheating by peeling off the stickers.

- Dale Crover is so manly he had a sex change and still remained a man.

- Dale Crover invented the Drunken Master style and inspired the character of Mrs Wong after he faked a pregnancy to escape torture during the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

- Dale Crover was constructed out of seventeen cordless electrical drills, fourteen miles of silver duct tape and a dead rabbit.

- Ray Charles once looked at Dale Crover playing drum...and never saw another thing again.

- Dale Crover is the only person alive who can understand R2-D2. They have conversations daily.

[Grungeisdead]

-Do you know about Dale Crover?

[Vcavallo]

i can solve a rubik's cube.  not between my pecks, though...

[DubEMC]

Dale Crover is your future, if you have one!

[punch_the_lion]

-

- Dale Crover drove the van that crippled Stephen King.

He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.

[Ron Maiden]

Dale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.

[Grungeisdead]

He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.

thats what you get for reading.

[Pringles]

You want more?

- Dale Crover can reverse any combustion reaction by giving it the finger.

- Dale Crover once gave a woman an orgasm so intense with is kick-drum that she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk.

- Dale Crover likes the taste of cock. He says it reminds him of Vietnam.

- Dale Crover killed a hooker one winter, disemboweled her, and lived inside her evicerated body for 3 months until spring.

- Dale Crover killed a member of PETA to grow more of them in his garden.

- Dale Crover wrote the pilot episode for "The Weather Channel."

- The prophet Mohamed is a blood ancestor of Dale Crover.

- Dale Crover created Led Zepplin as a running bet.

- The sinking of Atlantis was actually caused by Dale Crover sobbing over his favorite character's death in Beverly Hill 90210. He would have raised it again, but Melrose Place came on.

- Dale Crover is solely responsible for the band Immortal. He is every member at the same time.

- Dale Crover is responsible for the musical careers of the Beatles, the Ramones, Run DMC, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Pink Floyd. Nirvana's success can be attributed to archrival Dave Ghrol, while the Doors are purely machines, bred of Satan and fed with only the purest virgin blood.

- Dale Crover originally made the cinematic masterpiece 'The Wizard of Oz' all by himself, playing every single character. But right before it was released the Screen Actors Guild called foul play and it was re-shot starring Judy Garland. Dale later had a brief affair with Toto. Dale broke it off because of Toto's drinking problem.


- Dale Crover is responsible for the clanging drums in St. Anger. He called Lars Ulrich a pussy and made him cry.



- When Dale Crover bang on his Bass-drum, everyone around him gets drunk.

- The main theme of the first movement of Beethoven's fifth symphony was inspired by Dale Crover lightly tapping his fingers on the table in Beethoven's living room.

- The only language Dale Crover can not speak is English. All his voice work is over dubbed by James Earl Jones, but heavily modified by software to be unrecognizable.

- Buzz Osbourne is made from pure Dale Crover whool.

- Russian scientists have been trying to create a Dale Crover clone with poor results. The best they could come up with was a daltonic Jean-Claude Van Damme clone who can

[Hog log]

*shakes head in disbelief*

[TosT]

He should have finished the job, then we would have been spared all of the recent crappy books he has written including the final installments in the Dark Tower series which sucked. You blew that one Stevo.

thats what you get for reading.

ho ho ho

[punch_the_lion]

Dale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.

Is that Linda Hunt in your photograph with you on bottom?



You know, the only dwarf hermaphrodite to win an Oscar.  The Year of Living Dangerously, if I remember.

[Hog log]

Dale Crover is your future, if you have one!

I have the feeling he shall be the next pope ...

[Kurva]

Dale Crover impregnated my wife. She gave birth to a 12 oz serloin . the placenta was sauteed onions.

Dale Crover once breast fed a dead deer back to life.

Is that Linda Hunt in your photograph with you on bottom?



You know, the only dwarf hermaphrodite to win an Oscar.  The Year of Living Dangerously, if I remember.

dwarf hermaphrodite???!


NP: Lotus Eaters - Zawinul

[Ron Maiden]

no, its the only dwarf to sing for Black Sabbath.

Ronnie James Dio

whom also sang for a band called Elf, his first band

[turnacus]

Dale Crover's perpetual motion machine has been helping young degree seekers get their lives back on track since 1980


Dale Crover was at the grassy knoll in Dallas, 1963. He didn't shoot kennedy though, he was just trying to encase him in carbonite. After all, JFK's no good to him dead.